What to Do When You Find Out Your Teen Daughter is Pregnant

Finding out your teen daughter is pregnant is something that can overwhelm even the most tolerant of parents, but here are some things you need to do immediately to ensure the emotional and physical health of your child and things to do to help you keep your calm and make the best of a very difficult situation.

First things first: Remember that your daughter is likely just as overwhelmed and probably more scared than you are. Blaming is not going to help. If you were not aware that she was sexually active before the positive test, then you need to put that shock aside for a while and handle the real issue at hand, the health and well-being of your daughter and the well-being of the unborn child.

The next thing to do is talk with your daughter to consider your options. If you ethically oppose abortion, then you need to talk with your daughter and give her options that you support and explain to her why you oppose options like abortion. Otherwise you need to talk to your daughter and give her options including the health and emotional risks of abortion, her option to carry to term and put the baby up for adoption, the option to carry the baby to term and keep the baby, and all consequences of any of the above actions.

After you have laid out your options, let your daughter make the final decision. It is her body and ultimately her choice what she wants. If you want to help raise the baby, then let her know that you support her keeping the child, if you think its best for her to put the baby up for adoption then let her know that as well. However, also let her know that you will be there for her no matter what her decision is. She is scared and confused right now and you as her parent need to put aside your own volatile emotions to make sure that your child is not going to do something drastic or dangerous because of the situation. Support her in her decision and help her find local resources to help all of you with the financial, emotional, and medical needs for whatever decision is made.

If you know the father of the child, then contact the boy and his parents to make sure they are aware of the situation. Your daughter isn't the only one responsible for the pregnancy, so she shouldn't be the only one responsible for the baby. Don't turn the interactions with the boy's family into a blaming situation, but try and make it something productive and hopefully a situation where the baby will have the best environment it can to grow up in. If you can't raise the baby with your daughter, maybe the parents of the father could. Consider all options that present themselves and consider what is best for all parties involved.

Ultimately, take care of yourself as the parent as well. You need an outlet to cry, scream, or vent to that is not a place where your daughter is present. You need to be the strength for your daughter, but you also need to take care of yourself and your own emotional and mental states. If you don't have a friend or family member you can talk to, find a counselor or therapist in your local area to help you through this difficult time. Remember that pregnancy is about life and you are going to be a grandparent to a beautiful new baby and it is the life of your child and the life of that baby that are important right now, not the fact that it was unintentional or that it was a mistake.