What to Do when Frank Mucci Steals Your AC Article Idea

Here's the awesome AC article I started writing yesterday:

Title:AC's New Thumbs-Up Box Replaces the Useless "Recommend" Button

Subtitle:"Did You Like This?" "Was This Helpful?" How Do I Vote "No"?

Body: Whenever I read a good article on AC, I leave a witty, thoughtful comment, and then, as an afterthought, I click the "recommend" button. At least, I used to click the "recommend" button, until AC took it away without warning. Maybe they did warn us in the forum or on the AC blog, but I don't ever check those. My attitude is, "If it's important, AC will contact me about it. Don't they always?" Uh. Hmm.

Well, I just got a message from AC about the "enhanced article preview," but it makes no mention of the new thumbs-up box. I guess AC expected me to write this article, explaining the thumbs-up box to all AC contributors and readers. AC knows how generous I am.

Do you like the new thumbs-up box? Is it helpful? Is it better than the old "recommend" button or the even older star-rating system that AC had when I first joined, back in '08?...

That's where I stopped. I planned to come up with a bunch of better questions for the new thumbs-up box to ask us whenever we read AC articles (for example, "Did this article make you roll your eyes and groan?"). My article was going to be so darn funny; it was going to shoot straight to the top of the "Most Comments" list and stay there for two days straight!

Innocently, I turned off my computer, fixed vegetarian tacos for supper, watched "Wheel of Fortune," played Memory--the SpongeBob Squarepants Edition--with my husband and kids (and I won! Sweet!), read bedtime stories, and got the kids tucked into bed. It was almost 9 when I turned my computer back on and saw an email message that made me very happy: "Frank Mucci has been published on Associated Content."

I always look forward to Frank's hilarious articles, so of course I had to read it right away. The title alone made me laugh-a shocked laugh: "Was This Helpful? I Hope Not!"

"Oh, no, he didn't," I gasped. Oh, yes, he did. Read it for yourself. Frank stole my article idea! And the slimeball even mentions me in his article! The nerve of some people!

So I did what anyone in my position would have done: I made an ass of myself in the comments section below Frank's brilliantly funny article...and then I started plotting my revenge. But it's not really "revenge." Frank's article is so great, I had to admit that my own article on the exact same subject could never have turned out half as well as his. No fair! Frank's funnier than I am!

I sulked for a good five minutes or so, and then I realized that if Frank can take one of my ideas and turn it into a better article than I can write, he can probably turn any article idea into pure gold. As long as he shares the gold with me, I may as well sit back and let Frank do all the hard work. I'll furnish the ideas; he gets to write the articles.

Here ya go, Frank. Make me proud, sir!

AC Article Idea for Frank Mucci, Number 1: Interview President Obama, the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize Winner! If Obama's busy, you should interview Mickeysbigmouth. Watch out for bees and stock up on shaving cream!

AC Article Idea for Frank Mucci, Number 2: "Religous" Christmas Crafts. Yeah, I stole this one-typo and all-from the AC Assignment Desk. AC will pay you $2.75 for this article, Frank. You better include pictures and cite all your sources and make sure you proofread your work, okay? I think "religous" crafts have something to do with Godd and Jesis and The Bibble. Be creative.

AC Article Idea for Frank Mucci, Number 3: Top 10 Kanye Moments: Best and Worst. This one's also from the AC Assignment Desk. AC won't give you an upfront payment for this article, Frank, but I think you should write it anyway. They want you to "include personal experience if applicable." I know for a fact that you have personal experience writing about how much you can't stand Kanye West. Maybe you also met him once or twice, when you were drunk. Please write this article, Frank!

AC Article Idea for Frank Mucci, Number 4: Profile AC's Smartest, Funniest, Greatest Writer Ever: Maria Roth. Duh!

AC Article Idea for Frank Mucci, Number 5: How I Cured My Hemorrhoids with Marijuana and Beer. (Just tell us your secret already!)

All right, Frank, those ideas should keep you busy for the next week, at least. Now stop nosing around inside my head...

Was this article helpful? Vote "yes" or I'll write an article about YOU next!