What Are Your Future Plans?

I feel myself on a path moving forward and getting closer to the destination. Only to reveal to me what I have been searching for in my life which is inner peace and well being. To not know where you are going can be confusing and scary. I have always known, but spent too much time trying to avoid that path. Until I finally started to be truthful with myself, let go of the ego, realize fear can be overcome by walking forward and knowing that I won' t fall has allowed myself to be vulnerable and open. This path is getting closer I can feel it and it comforts me to know I finally have started to let go and trust that little voice that many of us tell to go away and/or ignore. People ask me what my future plans are. I look at them with a startled and confused look. As Americans we feel good if we plan our future. This gives us a sense of accomplishment and worth. When we don't have a plan, we feel like losers. I am not knocking how Americans and others think for I have done this myself and at times am guilty of going there. There is nothing wrong with having a goal, but I think sometimes when you look too much into the future, it is hard to be present and live for today and for right now that we are not actually present, but off somewhere else. Tomorrow is never guaranteed so as we are looking into the future, what is it that we see? Unless we are of a higher power, how do we know what the future holds?

Whether I choose to succeed or fail is up to me. I know no matter what I do I will be successful for it is my life I am living and will learn from the experience and grow from it. This world and what it has to offer is too big to limit oneself to a plan, a to-do list or the need to be perfect. Maybe this change of thought is due to the things I have done in my life so I feel my cup is half full. I have done the things in my life that as a child I once dreamed of doing. Or maybe it is that I am now living my life and not really in tune to what society thinks, the unrealistic expectations and pressures that are put on us everyday or take what is on the magazines covers or in the news about lifestyle and living so seriously. Or maybe it is due to being truthful with myself and living everyday like it is my last. Or it could be that I am scheduled to deploy to Iraq next year and realized all the things I had planned to do will be put on hold for a year. I decided to do those things now and not wait until I come back from Iraq for what if I don't come back? All that planning and dreaming would be for nothing for I would not be able to do it. However, I do plan on coming back and and pursuing new and exciting things. This upcoming deployment has taught me how to live. It is hard to do, but once you start, I think you feel more appreciation for others and things around you for you are not in the past or future, but in the present. My friendships and relationships have grown and I wonder how I just was not present until now. Sometimes when I go out to dinner with friends, I take a moment and just be an outsider looking in. Like a movie, the camera goes around the table and captures smiles, laughter and conversations people are having and the connections people have with one another. Like the camera, I watch this and I think how lucky I am to be part of it. It reminds me of the movie, The Joyluck Club and Sex and the City. If you have seen them or do go and see them, you will know what I am talking about. The next time I am asked what my future plans are, I will say none for I live in the present. Tomorrow is never guaranteed and the future has not yet come and so why plan for something that has not yet arrived and not just live for today? Live life without regrets.