What to Do when Your Girlfriend is Mad at You

When your girlfriend or partner gets mad at you, how you handle the situation will greatly affect whether she remains upset or if she "moves on" and forgives you. Of course, the severity of your mistake will matter a great deal-if you simply forgot to pick up the laundry, this is different from cheating on someone or lying to them.

In order to resolve the situation, whatever it may be, first acknowledge that you have upset your girlfriend. Let her know you are aware of this-awareness is the first step.

Then, explain some of the factors that may have influenced your decision. If you have been stressed at work, for example, this could provide a good explanation as to why you forgot to return the movie to Blockbuster on time.

Also, put things into their proper perspective. Sometimes, especially in a long-term relationship, one partner (or both of you) will begin to see things as more important than they actually are. "You don't love me," is not a logical conclusion to draw from a boyfriend forgetting to return the 27 Dresses DVD to Blockbuster on time, yet a girlfriend may draw such drastic conclusions-especially if she is facing work pressure or is worried about the future of the relationship.

If your quarrel with your girlfriend is related to finances, try to fix it. Never owe a girlfriend money for any period of time-it can create resentment on both sides. She feels like you are a "loser" for not being able to produce your income and you will grow resentful of your dependence on her. If you do owe her money (I'm not talking about simply $5 or $10), pay her back as soon as possible. You will find that this will eliminate a lot of the unnecessary stress in your relationship. If you need to, take out a 0% or low-interest credit card, get a balance transfer funding transaction into your bank account, and use that money to pay her back. At least she will get off your back, and then you can pay back the principal amount to your credit card company over time-she doesn't need to know about this.

If your problem is related to a friend, perhaps someone you hang out with that she does not approve of, try to get to the root of the matter. Explain that he or she is a long-time friend and that it is healthy to continue having friends, even though you are in a committed relationship. If she disagrees or simply refuses to accept one of your friends, you have a choice to make: your friendship or your relationship. If you are committed to the relationship, you may want to consider limiting your contact with the friend who annoys her, but this can be a slippery slope. You don't want a significant other to ever dictate the terms of your social life, lest you become lonely or needy. Stay independent-keep your friends whenever possible.