What to Give a Grieving Mother on Mother's Day

I have experienced a great deal of loss in my life but the death of the first child under my heart early in pregnancy nearly did my spirit in. There are no words to describe the waves of pain. I fully believe that child was carried to the Lord by an angel and lives where there is no pain or sorrow but I just wanted that little one and was devastated. It does not matter if the child was still beyond a recognizable human shape, a newborn, 5 year old or a fifty year old, the loss is intense. Each grieving Mama or Daddy will try to move on, each in their own way. Holidays will always bring memories or pain in solitude. These children were part of these parents. Believe me, even if not mentioned, the parent has the child in mind more than you will ever know.

I would have loved some form of acknowledgment that I was allowed to mourn my baby. Today as I think back there are a couple of items that I think appropriate for the Mother that never got to bury her child. A year after the baby miscarried my father-in-law died. It gave me peace to place a white rosebud in with the colored roses that represented all of his living grandchildren in a casket piece. It felt to me that my baby was being lain to rest with 'Papa'. I strongly recommend a rosebush to be planted in the family plot or a very special part of the home garden to honor the little one that came from and returned to Heaven before being held by Mommy and Daddy. The bush could be pink, lavender or white, hardy to the planting zone for a long life. A beautifully painted concrete or ceramic angel or lamb would be another nice Mother's Day gift for the mother who has lost a child. This could be kept in a garden at church, cemetery or a flower garden at home. If this is a military family they will be able to carry the angel place to place until they are able to settle down.

My brother-in-law's family suffered a terrible loss at Thanksgiving time last year. His brother and sister-in-law had their precious baby boy born too early. The family was able to gather together to have photos taken of little Gabriel. There were photos with grandparents, Mommy, Daddy, big sister and family. The couple decided to have his ashes in a container they could take from military base to base until the day they have a permanent home to make a burial decision. A professional photographer came to the hospital to do the photos. A framed portrait of the family would be a beautiful gift. A special scrapbook would also be a wonderful gift to keep in a container with his little clothes, birth certificate and hospital bracelet too.

When my oldest son was five his little kindergarten buddy died of cancer. There was great sorrow. There was also joy in his spirit, the tiny stubborn will of a little sweet boy. He had cancer as a toddler but after aggressive treatments was able to go to nursery school where he and my son met. He made it to the week before Mother's Day. His 5 years was a gift to many. His darling little clothes were taken to a quilter who lovingly fashioned them into a large quilt that was hung in his Mommy and Daddy's home. This would be a heart touching Mother's Day Gift for a mother who has lost her child, no matter the age.

Mother's lose children of all ages to cancer, accidents, military, firefighting and law enforcement service. Portraits in oil, a video montage, scrapbooks, framed memorabilia and quilts would make precious Mother's Day gifts for these grieving mothers. The loss of an adult child stirs many memories for family, loved ones and friends. A wonderful gift would be the recording of these memories so they can be bound in a volume for her to treasure.

A continuous Mother's Day gift for a mother who has lost her child is the formation of a fund for a school, sport or college scholarship, camp scholarship, playground project or memory garden that will benefit others in her child's memory. Library books, toys or a wall mural for a children's hospital or benches at a park or football stadium are other projects that can be done for the mother in her child's memory. Reaching out to help others in her time of mourning can be a healing thing. Remember the child and think about his or her dear Mama and your heart will know the best gift to give to a mother who misses her child this Mother's Day.