What to Do when Given a Second Chance in Life

"Life is pain." Scott Peck's book The Road Less Traveled starts off with that sentence. He point's this out in his book to help us see that the sooner we accept life is pain, the better off we will be. Many of us have had set backs in our lives. We may have suffered bankruptcy, divorce, and death of a loved one, abuse, substance abuse, or illness. It's important to realize that each of us is an individual, but our experiences are not unique. Others have suffered our same struggles. We all have had obstacles, and overcame them. Some pain takes much longer to heal. We can get better with perseverance and time. When offered a second chance in life, some key ingredients will help us grab that chance, and make the most out of it.

Support from our family and friends or joining a support group can help. Some can find help within their church if they belong to one. Sharing our experiences, pains and joys helps problems to weigh lighter on our shoulders. Talk therapy helps as long as we talk about the pain. Having the proper perspective is paramount. Interacting and observing others will show us how other people have coped with their issues and can show us how we can do it. The inspiration of others working through the same struggles is immeasurable. This is especially true if abuse or substance abuse has been the setback. Counseling with a trained professional can be helpful for support also.

Having a journal, or diary, gets the feelings out, and helps get through the pain. This puts the issues on paper, and gives us the ability to put life in perspective. If feelings aren't addressed they can run our lives. Journaling keeps us in check.

Another important key is attitude. A positive attitude, no matter how bad the problem is, can keep us going when things are bleak. This sounds like a superficial ingredient but if we wake up each day with a "this is going to be a good day" attitude, it attracts positive energy to us. Negative energy attracts negative people. This is especially true with shoptalk in the work environment. Sticking with the winners, who have a good outlook on life, will help with our healing process. Instead of letting our problems overwhelm us, we can look at the good things. Making the most of what we have is essential to moving on with our lives. Negativity will only keep us from getting better and hinder any action that is needed. Gratitude for what we do have can change our attitude.

Make lists and follow them. The first list can be a list of goals. By setting goals we are starting the process of change. It also gives us a realistic time line of when the goals can be achieved. Both long and short-term goals need to be addressed. This helps to achieve a sense of purpose and empowers us to take action. Our self-esteem may need to be raised after being a second chance in life. Having a tangible list in front us will help both self-esteem and empowerment.

Now take action. What ever we put on our list of goals requires action for the most part.

For example, our goal list may look like this:

1. Get a job.

2. Make budget for month/year.

3. Exercise regularly.

4. Visit dad's grave.

To begin action for getting a job, we may first want to write a resume. Looking at the classified ads, and going to the local job centers are all part of the effort of the final goal: getting a job. Writing a daily "to do" list is beneficial for the action part of this plan also. To visit dad's grave, this will be an emotional undertaking, and support may be needed.

On a personal note, I have experienced death, divorce (both of my parents and then myself), sexual abuse, substance abuse, illness, and bankruptcy. I am recovering from the all. With substance abuse I have learned the "One Day At A Time" philosophy. Keeping the focus on today and today only, my obstacles in life have gotten better. Counseling and good support from family and friends continues to keep my head above water.

Lastly, faith in something bigger than us is needed. Spirituality helps with forgiveness of others and us. This is how acceptance can finally come in our grieving process. Grieving is a part of change. The sadness that comes with change, even when the change is good for us, happens to us all.

When given a second chance in life, living to the best of our abilities shows our gratitude for what we have been given. It will take patience, focus, and support to ensure we make the most of it. Above all else, knowing we can get better, and doing something about it will make the difference. Life is about survival of us all, not just the fittest.