What Happened to My Joy?

My son James proposed to his girlfriend on Thanksgiving. They will be getting married on July 10...a mere 6 months away. Our house has become a whirlwind of dresses, bridesmaids, flowers, cakes, and all the other little details that come with planning a wedding. Mike and I are getting an opportunity to relive the romantic excitement of being young and in love with your whole life ahead of you. It has been so much fun to watch James and Whitney when they haven't been aware that we were watching them. The look in his eyes when he looks at her and the look on her face when she looks into his eyes has brought a fresh look at our own marriage.

Many times in the last week, we've had discussions that start or end with "Why don't we do that anymore?" or "When did I stop doing that for you?" The realizations haven't been earth shattering, but they have definitely been eye opening. My heart has ached as I've counted up missed opportunities, hurtful words and actions, and even cases of indifference that seemed to have plagued our marriage in the last years. Mike has expressed some of these same feelings of inadequacies and disappointments. But even as God has revealed the shortcomings in our relationships, he has also brought about healing.

I'm working harder at not losing my temper and slamming doors. Mike is more attentive to both my needs, and those things around the house that my health doesn't allow me to do anymore; and all without me having to ask. I am once again paying attention to the little details; making the bed every morning instead of just when I felt like it; trying to notice when the peach tea is almost gone, and making more before he is completely out; cooking his favorite meals despite even when they're not my favorites. He is making a point to say "I love you", "Thank You" and "I appreciate that (you)". We both have more patience with each other and with the kids. And in the process of strengthening our relationship with each other, our relationship with Christ as a couple has also been strengthened.

We are praying together more. Our conversations are more often that of a spiritual topic. We are increasingly open to God's will for us as a couple; as well as a family. I believe that I have discovered a touch of how David wanted to feel when he pled "Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation.