What Happened to Maddox?

Since 1997, George Ouzounian, also known by his internet nickname Maddox, has been writing on his website The Best Page in the Universe. Unlike other writers of our decade, Maddox is a popular critic, among young adults, who insults everything from celebrities to the artwork of little kids to classic movies. He's an arrogant guy (in fact, he knows he's better than you) who prides himself on his grammar and nonexistent spelling errors. Almost monthly, Maddox would come up with a new page that complained about something new. One day, it will be about how people imitate the comedian Dave Chappelle. The other, his hatred of Cameron Diaz. Almost all of his posts are of things he is disgusted with, with the exception of Ben Stiller, who he claims should star in every movie. His pages are full of cynicism and clever jokes that all use his target as the punch line. And clearly, the fans loved it. At his prime, his webpage (based on the counter at the bottom) would have about 170 hits every minute.

Maddox uses his adept Photoshop skills to illustrate his points, often drawing the target into a cynical cartoon. He is a successful programmer who built his website, in all black because white is like staring at a lightbulb, using Unix. He keeps a list of his most popular hatemail, which he responds to, attempting to find cracks in the target's logic or ways to make them look like an idiot.

Within years, his hits per minute dropped to about 140, and it wasn't because he promoted the beating of kids to keep them in line. His updates gradually declined, and consequently, so did his hits. Whereas they had used to come monthly, or even more frequently, they began coming every two months. People begged him via email for more updates, and he would always post on his site to "stop begging" him. And when he came out with another update, the fans were appeased.

Then it was another two month wait. Soon, it was three months. The hits per minute had dropped to about 90. It was then revealed that he was coming out with a book. The Alphabet of Manliness was an instant success which quickly became a New York Times Bestseller. His fans were satisfied, and so was he. Everyone had attributed his slow updates to the fact that he was writing a book. But, even after the book was published, his updates continued to slow down. His fans were becoming more agitated.

A few more years and his hits per minute had dropped to 70, 40, and now they're at 30. The once cocky, arrogant Maddox had become a lazy writer who criticized things that no longer even garnered much attention. To many, he only wanted money and was corrupted by the success of his book. His old style of humor was overshadowed by the new Maddox which barely even spent time to write a small article for his site.

So, the readers of his site, who grew up reading his material, are asking, "Maddox, what happened?" Let's just hope he doesn't lose his readership before he decides to answer.

Source: Maddox, "The Best Page in the Universe".