What Has This World Come To?

It's been a while since I talked to one of my friends (whom shall remain nameless). Since leaving Chicago, he has been a very hard guy to get a hold of. A habitual traveler and instinctual researcher, the guy spends his days trying to understand the world and people around him; hence, why he is always traveling.

He's a character, that's for sure. He's been the only friend whom I've felt comfortable enough giving a "History of Farting" book. He's also the same friend who can spend hours talking about physics and literature at a college kegger. This is also the same friend who got giddy when we went to our first strip club together...at age 23 (we're from South/Central Texas. Strip clubs are part of our culture, so to be 23 and not to have experienced a strip club is a major social faux pas). This is the same guy who is as un-racist as un-racist can be. One time he got mad at me for calling an ex-co-worker "an old, dumb white guy."

He said, with his reprimanding voice, "Yaidi! Don't say that."

"But he is some old, dumb white guy"

"Yaidi!"

"But it's true. We work in Hispanic advertising, more specifically Spanish-Language media, and the guy refuses to understand that a lot of our media partners speak only Spanish. He refuses to understand that because they are from a different culture, we have to speak differently to them, and make our messages relevant in ways they can understand."

"But you shouldn't call him 'an old, dumb white guy,' Yaidi. He doesn't go around calling Mexicans dumb brown people..."

"Actually, that's what I was getting to. He said that 'this is America, Mexicans should learn how to speak English,' I'm not kidding either. And this guy is the VP of our Hispanic ad agency...an agency that makes its revenue from working with Spanish-language media."

"Oh man... he is an old, dumb white guy."

I try to be as PC as I can be, but I always find myself laughing at Dave Chapelle or Carlos Mencia Jokes. So in the end, I may be a jerk. But not this guy. Nope. He's probably one of the most truly PC people I know. He's never poked fun at my Mexicanness. He doesn't make assumptions. He never says stuff like "I don't get your people" or "why do Mexicans always smell like beans."

Simple. Laid back. A constant learner. A student of life. HIM. Plain and simple.

It's been a long time while since I talk to this friend; this very peaceful, nice guy. Yesterday night I was nursing my insomnia with what I like to call "writing therapy," when I saw his bulletin on MySpace. He was asking people for tips about living in Europe. Yada yada yada, one topic led to another, and it turns out he wanted to get away from the States for a while because he had been recently charged with a hate crime felony.

Hate crime? This guy.... A hate crimer?

I don't get it. It's like George W. Bush being nominated for a Noble Peace Prize, or William Hung winning a Grammy-IT MAKES NO SENSE! I could run down scenario, by scenario, by scenario; scenarios in which this guy is adamantly proven not to be a racist, much less someone who commits hate crimes. So many times I'll stick my foot in my mouth, that it makes me sound like a Mexican-Pride Nazi, but even I have never been called out for being a racist (which I'm not, by the way).

My point: some people just go too far with their accusations or assumptions.

I usually joke around about my brown skin (and my beat-up Honda) helping me fit in the bad neighborhoods in Chicago. Some of my white friends get uncomfortable with my random statements of stupidity, but some of my Mexican/Hispanic/Black friends laugh. Between our little group of friends, we even comment on the real social stigma we face, the real racism that still exists in Chicago, and how we're fed up with being targeted by authority figures. But after I talked to this 'white' friend, I'm starting to rethink my position. He got singled out because he was white. If it had been me in that cab, it would have never been called a felony Hate Crime. Because I am female, the guy would have probably been charged with assault himself.

But it wasn't me. It was my friend. It was a guy who is both nerdy and cool, and laid back and proud. The cab driver wanted to hand off my friend's debit card to someone at a drive-thru in order to get paid his fare in cash, but my friend was like "NOOOOO." Why not use an ATM, right? I can't say I disagree with my friend. Why the hell would I want a total stranger handing off my debit card to another total stranger at a drive-thru? The cab driver freaked out because he thought my friend was going to skip out on the fare, so he locks the doors. My friend freaks out and throws his soda at the back window. The cab driver calls the police and tells them he was assaulted. The police come, and they beat the shit out of my friend, rendering him unconscious, then charging him with the following charges:

1. Felony assault in the 3rd degree (as a hate crime)
2. Felony Menacing in the 3rd degree (as a hate crime)
3. Theft of services
4. Resisting arrest
5. Harassment in the second degree
6. Aggravated harassment in the second degree

According to the prosecution deposition, my friend told the cab driver:

"Hey n***** what the fuck you thinking, you have to do what I ask you to do. You fucking n******, you from Haiti, what do you care about the law."

This claim is funny. It really is. Because in all my life, I have never heard this friend use the "N" word, or any other derogatory word for that matter. That, and he does not talk in Ebonics, since he's a huge grammar/literature nut, and improper use of transitional phrases irk him. So I know, without having to be told, this Cab driver is a lying piece of shit. Who the hell makes up this crap? If you're going to lie about someone, at least try to pick up their speech patterns, and talking styles so that you don't sound like a total lying a-hole.

So I propose to you to do the following:

Tell me YOUR cab driver story. I'm sure we've all had great ones, but I'm also sure we've had horrible ones. Tell me your story and let's share. I'll probably be writing more about this topic as my friend's story unfolds, but I'd like to hear from you.

Disclosure: I've had some really awesome cab drivers, so I hope this editorial does not reflect badly on those who are fantastic at their job....