What You Hate About Your Man's Morning Ritual

Mornings are stressful enough without the chaos often caused by the men in our lives. Here are some of the most annoying aspects of my man's morning ritual.

Loud music

Sure, he is listening to his obnoxious music on his iPod. But even with the ear buds in, you can hear every blasting word and screaming guitar lick. You would be better off just playing it on the living room stereo. Not to mention the fact that he can't hear anyone else, human or otherwise, in the house.

Bodily functions

Men have an inborn need to share their bodily functions, with no apologies for the subsequent trumpeting noise that could wake the dead, nor the offensive smell that often follows. You almost don't even need an alarm clock to wake you in the morning, as the whole house practically shakes at the same time every day.

Leaving a trail

His man trail in the morning is always disturbing. Somewhere along the line, he was taught "If it's yellow, let it mellow." And then there are the bits of soap, toothpaste, and little hairs that don't always get washed down the drain. A trail of dirty clothing is much more tolerable!

The gourmet cook

When he gets up, he wants a big breakfast, but doesn't necessarily want to make it first thing in the morning. He'll putter around, slamming a big bowl and a cereal box, talking about not really wanting the pancakes, sausage and eggs. But if someone else provides, he'll magically changes his mind and devour everything in sight. This has a tendency to reverse every once in a while for special occasions or to get out of the doghouse.

But despite the annoyance of my man's morning ritual, he is still a one-of-a-kind lovable creature, who can be forgiven.