What the Hell's in Ohio?

Aside from our famed Oktoberfest, there are plenty of things to do in this city. There have been rumors of some relatives of mine coming from overseas to visit us in this fair state. As with any state, there are some standard protocols that you can follow to kill some hours. Most of the things can be found downtown, but if you want to go fishing, canoing or kayaking, there are some places that offer that too. Just don't go in the Ohio River or you'll end up hitting Jimmy Hoffa's body with your paddle.

Events
As stated above, Oktoberfest is a big Cincinnati thing. Our "Tallstacks" event also draws in quite the crowd, although I never personally went to them. Of course, there's always a crowd to watch our beloved Reds play some other team (you've got a 50/50 chance to see Griffey play that day), or watch people smash each other at a Bengals game - I'm not talking about on the field either. We also have a fairly highly rated food-related event around these parts: The Taste of Cincinnati. Not only is it corn grilled with their husks on, but there are some stages where bands play. Of course the big names in radio around Cincy will be getting the front/most space, but WOXY showed up, so it was pretty damn good.

Museums
Now I know that a museum isn't everyone's first choice, but honestly, once you're there, it's never really that bad. We have a lot of museums around here (art galleries included). One of them is even an old train station (Union Terminal). It's always fun to re-live those days in which you didn't know what the hell evolution or mummies really were. Our Contemporary Art Gallery and normal Art Gallery are pretty impressive too, if I say so myself. Well, impressive to the point that they're located in a city famous for chili.

Concerts
Riverbend, Taft, Southgate House, and the famed Bogart's are all frequented venues. Cincinnati isn't exactly the hot spot for all of the newest stars, but if they're doing a tour around the country, they're usually downtown. Bogart's has some pretty good bands that come and go. There are some places though, like "The Underground", which are just, well, horrible in my opinion. It's one of those places that try to simulate the nightclub experience for 16 year olds. Good thing no good music ever ends up being there.

Music
I put this under a different heading because I don't classify some things as concerts. There are a few bookstores and churches around here that hold some music acts every now and then. The Cincinnati press does a good job with covering things like that. But, I must say, the crowning thing we have under this category is the Blue Wisp. Jazz in Cincinnati felt a lot more "big city" than I figured it would. You have to be careful around those parts though, because a wrong turn headed toward the Blue Wisp can force you down some notorious stretches of road.

Other
Ohio has a fairly unique blend of urban and country settings, so you can end up buying a roasted turkey leg at a flea market in the afternoon and be clubbing at Riverfront by nightfall. Train rides, Amish furniture sales, giant arcades and food courts are all here. King's Island is also a big attraction. Cedar Point is up here as well. We have a Coney Island too. The Cincinnati Zoo is located right in the heart of Downtown Cincinnati, too, so you can see the animals and listen to jazz in one fantastic day. If you're planning a trip, don't just pass on through. Stop by and give old Lanagan a few bucks to kickstart his pyramid schemes and see some shows.