What the Holidays Mean to Me: Changing Traditions

Whether it was Thanksgiving or Christmas, dinner production took on elements of a Broadway play, when I was a child. Setting the stage, and getting the lighting right was as key as the actual presentation. The producer/director, known to my brother and me as "mom," would get all panicky as the day approached.

We knew better than to get in her way in the kitchen, but were eager to help set the table. She trusted us with placemats, the good china, the real silverware, and linen napkins rolled up nicely, tucked into the napkin rings, but heaven help us if we reached for the engraved crystal goblets. Those were hers, and hers alone, to retrieve from their storage place, and put on the table.

The table decorations for Thanksgiving were simply tall, tapered candles in crystal holders. When dinner was ready to be served, it was brought out on a silverplate buffet plate that had separate sections for the main and side dishes. It was placed on a buffet table in a corner of the formal dining room. We each grabbed our plate from the dining table, and served ourselves. Dad always said grace before we could eat.

Christmas dinner was much the same, although the dining room table was set with the classic Spode Christmas Tree china pattern, and the center table decorations were holly rings around fat bayberry scented candles. The main difference was that, as kids, my brother and I were more interested in comparing toys, and getting bummed out about the clothes we received as presents, than helping with dinner.

That was back in the 1960s to 1970s, and continued into the early 1980s.

Enter the mid-1980s.

Mom no longer wanted to deal with the hassle of fixing Thanksgiving dinner, so we went out for it. She continued to fix Christmas dinner, but it was usually baked chicken with a creamy mushroom sauce. This continued through the 1990s, and into the early 2000s. It really wasn't anything other than a normal dinner, except for the place settings, decorations, and use of the formal dining room.

Throughout the 1980s until a few years ago, Thanksgiving and Christmas lost their meaning for me. We stopped giving each other Christmas presents years ago. The holidays became major cooking days, but that was about it.

Moving along to the early 2000s, I took on the duty of cooking holiday meals for my parents, and catering them.

The first year I did this, I was worried about roasting a Thanksgiving turkey, having heard so many horror stories about turkey disasters, and having eaten my mom's dry turkey. The bird turned out fine, juicy, etc. After that, I developed confidence.

Now, we cater Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter dinners for my parents. Rather than messing up mom's kitchen, we cook everything here, pack it all into a large cooler, and bring it over to their house. Mom gets to set the table. These dinners are still served buffet-style, because it's really the most efficient.

We've come almost full circle from my parents providing for me and my brother, when we were kids, to my providing, with the help of my better half, for them. They're only a 15 minute drive away, so it's relatively easy. I enjoy cooking holiday meals, both for the fun of it, and to see the joy on my parents' faces, when we pop open the cooler, to dig out the goodies.

Curiously enough, my parents never did anything special for New Year's Eve dinner. I don't cater that for them, but started my own household tradition about 10 years ago. We roast a duck, stuffed with long grain/wild rice (a handful of each), herbed up with sage, rosemary, and thyme, pre-cooked until almost done. Side dishes depend on what we have around, and feel like eating, although I think cran-orange sauce goes better with duck than the icky orange sauce that normally comes packed with it. We watch the Twilight Zone marathon on Sci-Fi while dinner's cooking.

In retrospect, the holidays meant food that's a big production, instead of just a typical night's casserole, to me, as a kid. In my teens through 30s, it was more a matter of "It's a holiday, so we have to do something, even if it means going out for dinner." My parents are religious, but we're not. Nowadays, it's really a matter of giving back to my parents, even if it's just carting over a lovingly made holiday meal, and just being with them for a few hours. Dad still insists upon saying grace before we eat, but I'm fine with that. They really appreciate the catered holiday meals, and we love fixing them for them. That's what really matters.