What to Do when You Hurt Someone's Feelings
Can This Relationship Be Saved?
The worst thing you can do is invalidate their feelings by pretending it did not happen or that they have no reason to be upset. Some people are more sensitive than others. Perhaps they are going through some personal hardships or have had past experiences where others have treated them badly and are over sensitive. Whether or not you believe you are in the wrong, the fact still remains that their feelings are hurt.
The easiest thing to do, although it is hard for some people, is just to apologize. You do not have to necessarily admit you did anything wrong if you feel you did not. Just tell your friend you are sorry if you did something to hurt them. However, if you did something wrong and you know it, apologize for whatever it was you did. You are not a pansy or weak for apologizing. Everyone makes mistakes but it takes a big person to admit them.
Sometimes, people just need some alone time. If you apologize, and they do not accept your apology, you have done all you can do. Leave them alone and give them time to work it out on their own. If they value your friendship, they will seek you out.
One thing you should consider is whether or not this person is truly your friend. Do they often accuse you of doing something wrong? Perhaps they are critical and maybe not the kind of person you want for a friend. Some people are just not compatible and are better off not being friends. You could suggest to this person that you take a break from each other for awhile. If you are truly friends, the time will come when you will miss each other and seek the other person's company. If not, then perhaps ending the friendship is the best solution for both of you. Choosing not to be friends with someone does not have to mean you are enemies. You can just peacefully both go your own way with no hard feelings. It takes a mature person to do this.
Good friends are hard to come by. If you have a true friend that you want to keep, you should do what you can to repair the relationship. Just remember, this is a two-way street. You should never be the person who is always giving in or always apologizing. It takes a little life experience and being a good judge of character to know just who those true friends are! If the other person treasures your friendship as much as you treasure theirs, they will also make the effort to work things out.
Source:
Personal Experience
Published by Janet Hunt - Featured Contributor in Business & Finance
Janet Hunt is a freelance writing professional specializing in business and finance. She has published articles for such online publication sites as Demand Studios, Associated Content, and various other onli... View profile
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44 Comments
Post a CommentGood advice from both sides of the fence.
that time will solve both of these two problems(in extention of previous comment)
I think that it is important to remember that apologizing, no matter how sencierely, is no "magic, become friends again button" which you can just press whenever you hurt someone.
At this moment i sit in the most sad situation in the world despite the fact that i have actually done everything the article says. I hurt a person who is the closest i have got to a real friend by doing something which i found harmlass, none the less he became very angry, and i instantly apologized despite the fact the i belive i was in the right. And yet this does not take me out of my miserable situation.
I think it is important not to loose sigt of time as the ultimate factor. Time is what will get people to forget and forgive. Time also gives you the oppertunity to find friends who fit your personality better, if you do not already have them. These are my two problems, 1: i have only one person who i can maybe call a friend, 2: i hurt his feelings. Even though my situation is bad, i know
we were playing Fifa Street Demo then just because I scored 2 times he kicked me around the armpit twice so then I was crying on the floor then he came to me and was saying sorry but I knew he didn't mean it so then I kicked him in the the Jaw then he sulked he went of to his house
I've spent most of my adult life upsetting people, but quickly apologising if I knew it was my fault. However, it becomes trickier if neither side can admit they are at fault! Perhaps then is the time to say 'Adios, Amigo/Amiga' and go separate ways.
Somehow I missed this one, but thanks to Donald's newsletter, discovered it. Apologizing helps, too, to clear up misunderstandings. Letting your friend know you value the friendship so much you refuse to end it over a misunderstanding lets your friend know that you're willing to work on repairing the relationship. I would have lost a friend I treasured if I hadn't stepped up to discuss something that hadn't even happened, but that she thought had. Good advice '" thanks.
Good advice. Apologizing can heal both hearts involved.
This is very helpful to me, as I have tended to carry grudges and now I see that it's better to realize it's the other's fault if he doesn't apologize at all
Super points made here, excellent!
Great topic and a wonderful article. You mentioned evaluating the friendship. Maybe you can write an article about how to rid yourself of toxic friends. I'd really appreciate some advice :)