What If Britney Spears was Black?

Yes, Britney Spears is in rehab right now and yes, there is a good chance that she may lose custody of her 2 children to her soon-to-be ex-husband, wannabe-rap-star Kevin Federline. There is an all-out media blitz to find all you can about poor/rich little Britney and her drug and alcohol meltdown woes. She is having a hard time staying in her rehab facility let alone dealing with her messed up life. But how would this drama be playing out if Britney Spears was Black? Can you say Whitney Houston? Let's draw the parallels to if Britney was Black/African-American. Her life is now eerily on par with that of Whitney Houston's.

Britney and Whitney can be compared in a number of ways. After meteoric rises, both were sitting on the top of the world with their feet swinging. Britney had the panting audience of young teens and grown men (me not included) lusting after her every move in her videos. Her "Baby One More Time" video tantalized young men and women with images of her in a Catholic schoolgirl uniform as she teased with her good girl/bargirl dance routine.

And then you had Whitney whose self-titled debut album sold a record multi-millions more than any female at the time. I still remember the first time I was mesmerized by the crinkle in her nose when she sang "You Give Good Love to Me." She was the daughter of Cissy Houston, a gospel singer, and cousin to Dionne Warwick, a contemporary ballad singer. Britney was on her way to Madonna-iconic status and then Madonna gave her the infamous kiss of death on the stage of the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards. Is it me or did her career start to go south from that moment on?

Most will say it was Britney's and Whitney's poor choices in men that brought them down for the count. Do 'Bad Boys' bring 'Good Girls' down or do they bring the 'Worst Girl Ever' out of the 'Not-So-Good Girl'? Britney met Kevin and her life went into a tailspin. Whitney met Bobby and she became an overnight mess. Both Britney and Whitney co-starred in reality shows with these sorry-excuses-for-husbands, giving us even more insight into what it's like for a celebrity to self-destruct between commercial breaks. And let's not forget about the national television interviews that both women gave in their sad attempts to convince the world that all was OK with them, their marriages and their careers. Yeah... right. Wink, wink.

Walt Disney must be rolling in his grave to see how one of his former Mouseketeer is now a member of the "K-Fed Club of Used and Abused Baby Mommas". And we all can imagine how Clive Davis must have felt as he watched his Whitney Houston project spontaneously combust. Now music uber-producer Timbaland has pledged his support to get Britney back on top of the charts when she gets better. I don't seem to remember anyone trying to come to Whitney's aid when she still looked like a crackhead coming out of her multiple stays in rehab (though Davis has seemingly taken her back under his wing now). I think Timbaland is a smart guy who knows that given a choice of Britney or Whitney, he stands to gain a tremendous financial windfall with Britney as opposed to a light breeze with Whitney. But what if Britney was Black? Insert Timbaland's signature "crickets" sound effects here, 'cause I don't think he'd be so readily making offers to team up with her.

A Black Britney would mean an even longer road back to the top--one that would mean practically selling one's soul to get back even half of what was lost in endorsement money alone. I mean, who will ever use Whitney as a spokesperson for their product or service again? On the contrary, I believe that Britney has yet to burn all her potential advertising bridges. Mark my words, we will one day see Britney on our TV screens again, eating some fried chicken or drinking some sort of cola to a tune that Timbaland wrote with K-Fed in her shadow as a back-up dancer to boot. Whitney will likely end up paired with a cha-cha wannabe on "Dancing with the Stars", in a head-to-head Finals match up against her ex, Bobby, though I really do hope she'll fair better...

Time will only tell what will happen to Britney and Whitney. I pray that God watches over them both. Wouldn't you love to see them one day on an "I am Back and Off Crack and Jack" concert tour?!