What to Do If Your Child Acts Out in Public

Believe it or not we all have to deal with our children acting up in public, but do we know how to handle the situation?
I have three girls, ages 1, 3 and 6. My oldest two have acted out in public and I always use the same techniques, I will list them here so you can follow these steps in hopes that you can control your child in the event of an acting out episode.

First off you need to let your child know where you are going before taking them to the final destination. For example if you are going to a grocery store you must inform your child that you need to go to the store to buy some important items. Let them know you do not have money for any toys or candy and that you are not buying any of it when in the store. Remind them not to ask you for anything as you have already told them you are only buying certain things and your budget is limited. This will help them understand that you need to go to the store only for some things and that you cannot always buy what you want but what you need.

Once you have already set some rules you must stand firm with the punishment you will give them. When you tell them you will not tolerate any screaming or ranting you explain that if such behavior does occur you will have to walk out to the car and wait till they calm down and once again explain to them that you are not buying anything else. This is a way they try to see how the parent will react. If you tell them this and do not do as said they will keep crying and begging for you to buy them the toy they want so much, but if you take them to the car the first time they cry for something they will know you will do it the second and third. Consistency is key, and I believe it works in any situation.

If you have taken them out to the car and this does not work then you must ignore there plead. I myself have let my daughter cry and cry and ignored her until she stopped crying because she knew it was a waste of her breathe. Of course people look at me like I am crazy for letting her scream but they are not the ones who have to deal with her and show her who is boss, which is why you must not let other peoples looks and comments affect you.

If you are at a social gathering with friends and your child starts acting up for attention you need to sit with them and explain that adults are speaking and when you are done you can speak to them, do not let them interrupt and ask what it is they want until you are done talking. Keep calm and don't yell as yelling only teaches them to do the same. Speak in a calm voice and tell them you love them with a big hug and that you will give them the attention they want once you are done speaking.

Also keep in mind that when you show child love and affection this helps them very much because they see that you care for them and they will listen to anything you say, do not be loud or profane and do not spank them either. Spanking although used in many families is not very effective and can bruise your child physically and mentally. Speaking at a low tone and always at their level helps so much more.

If your child is the type to run away when you want to leave a party and you can't catch them you need to follow this step. Before saying your goodbyes to everyone make sure you grab your child first and tell them you want to say something to them in the bathroom or that you want to wash their hands. When you go to the bathroom explain to them that the party is over and everyone is going to leave and you need to leave as well. Tell your child that you will have to hold their hand all the way to the car because you cannot stay. If your child tries to pull away from your hand keep a tight grip and walk directly to your car. Do not let your child over power you, they know you do not want to make a scene and that they can probably get away with whatever they want, which is why you need to be prepared.

If you know your child will scream and kick when you say it is time to leave then tell them something else. Tell them you have something to show them in the car, or something you need help taking out, once in the car explain you need to go because the event is over . Telling a small lie to not cause a scene isn't a bad technique, at least in my book, just make sure you make it seem like you weren't lying so that your child doesn't learn how to lie. You can say that you forgot the item at home when you thought it was in the car, be smart, don't let your child outsmart you.

Bribing I think is number one in every parents technique to not cause a scene in public. But there are ways to bribe your child, you don't want them to take advantage and act up every chance they get so they get what they want. Instead tell them that if they behave you will have a surprise waiting for them at home, whether it be a coloring book or ice cream, stay true to your word. Don't tell them to stop crying and they will get ice cream this is a no no, only reward them for good behavior.

I hope my tips help you and your child develop a good outing experience, we all want to have a great time when going out and don't want to be the ones no one invites because of our children, remember it is how you the parent assess the problem that helps your child's character.