What to Do If Your Husband or Boyfriend Gets Another Woman Pregnant
An outside child could be a result of an affair or the husband or boyfriend having sex with someone else during a separation period. Aside from the emotional consequences of a husband or boyfriend cheating, there are the physical consequences such as the possibility of a sexually transmitted disease or an unwanted pregnancy.
The added responsibility of a child being added to the mix can be daunting, but not impossible. There are thousands of women coping and perhaps thriving even though an outside child was not in the couple's plan.
Here are some steps you can take if your husband or boyfriend impregnates another woman.
Decide if you're going to stay. If you commit to staying in the marriage or relationship, honor that commitment without bitterness. Within a marriage you are honoring your vows of for better or for worse. Within a dating relationship, you owe it to your future as a couple to either put effort in the relationship or to leave it behind altogether and start anew with someone else. Each day won't be easy, but keep the overall focus in mind- to overcome this mishap and build a stronger relationship.
Be respectful of the baby's mother. Although this woman obviously hasn't been introduced to you under the best circumstances, she will be the mother of your stepchild or potentially future stepchild. In some cases she may not have known she was getting involved with someone married or involved. She could have unknowingly been the mistress so she deserved the benefit of the doubt Also by being respectful you can keep contact with her just enough to make sure she stays within her proper role- mother of your husband or boyfriend's baby- and nothing more than that.
Be supportive of your husband or boyfriend's right to be a part of the child's life. Some women may want their husband to just forget about the child as though he or she doesn't exist. They may encourage deadbeat behavior hoping the issue, and the child and mother, would disappear. The fact still remains that an innocent human life needs both of his or her parents, if possible. Don't rob the child of this right.
Don't keep the child from his or her siblings. If you already have children with your husband or boyfriend, the new baby from the affair will be their half brother or half sister. They will want to know about them and perhaps have a relationship with them. In a schedule that is comfortable for both mothers, the children should get together and play, preferably with their dad around to have bonding time. The children are the innocent parties and it may make what is a sticky situation easier as they get older if they have a relationship in place from the start.
Be kind to the child. Yes. The child will be a constant reminder of your husband or boyfriend's affair, but as stated earlier, the child is innocent. You don't have to feel the pressure to treat them as your own children, unless you want to, but at least be kind to the child because they did not ask to be brought into the world under this situation. You may even develop a relationship with the child you're enjoy as they grow older and more independent from their mother.
These tips by no means will be easy to follow, but you do have a choice to adhere to them if you want to make your marriage or relationship stronger.
Published by Candice W.
Candice W. is a writer from Michigan. Her interests are writing, entrepreneurship, real estate, watching movies, trying new foods and bargain shopping. She also goes by the name MrsWrite. View profile
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8 Comments
Post a CommentI'v been with my boyfriend off an on about 5 years. Seriously about a year and a half. I found out a few months ago that he preganated a woman and now he has a three yeas old child. When we first got together he told me if i was ever to get pregnant he would have nothing to do with me or i need to abort it. So when i found out that he got some #$%$ pregnant just a fling never had a relationship with this woman i was very upset and hurt. He never found out that he had a child till she was 9 months old.The other woman Called him up oneday saying i think that this is your child .So i am still coping with this day by day depressed and have know idea how to handle a situation like this. I love him so much and he says he loves me and he is with me not to worry that he was sorry.
I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and we have a son together. I am pregnant right now with his child. After I had my son I miscarried twice. Lately my boyfriend has not been spending time with me and I feel that he has another life with some other woman. He has been joking around saying that he has a child that was born a couple of days ago. He has also told this to people so I am starting to believe its not a joke anymore. I am not accept this child and I dont want anything to do with it. I never want to see it. He made it very clear to me that this was not the right time for me to have another child and I should have an abortion. Im not cause thats is something I dont believe in. This is like the last straw and I cant take anymore. I and currently in school and I have 2 more months 2 complete. I just received a section 8 voucher and I am taking my baby and I never want to see him again. I deserve better than this and I cant keep putting myself through bull. The funny thing is
just remember if the child is his, it's half of him in that baby. love that half as you do your husband. that's a way to help think about it in a better way. that baby deserves love just as much as your own kids. the baby did not ask to be brought into this world.
Hi Dee. Sorry I'm so late in responding. I hope the child was not his.
Hi I've been married for 4 years...my husband has recently told me that there is a possibility that he may have a child that is about 7 months old. I am upset because I am currently taking care of his 7 year old daughter from a previous relationship and now to hear that he may have another one out there? I'm even more pissed off because I haven't gotten pregnant for him yet.....it's hurtful because sooner or later this child will have to get his attention, and I'll be like the maid of the house trying to keep us together or clean up after his mess. I am tired and starting to doubt that I will even last another 6 months with him. I'm not 100% sure but I think I am falling out of love with him. It hasn't been verified if the child is actually he's or not but I'm hoping that it's not.
Heartbreaking situation for sure...great advice here!
Very good advice here. I most likely wouldn't stay in a relationship like that, because I would feel he couldn't keep his pants zipped around other women. I don't like to feel like I have to compete with other women for my husband's love and attention. Been there and done that.
Good advice for a horrible situation.