What If John McCain Picks Joe Lieberman as His Running Mate? Plus: My Final Veep Predictions

McCain will govern, whereas Obama will McGovern.

I am beginning to think that John McCain is not going to pick Mitt Romney as his running mate, but rather Joe Lieberman, the politician with whom he is the most comfortable. Lieberman is an independent Democrat and an orthodox Jew. He was Al Gore's running mate in 2000. He is an extreme hawk on the middle east, and also quite knowledgeable. Here are a few jokes, to prepare for this eventuality. (I had some jokes about a McCain-Romney and an Obama-Clinton ticket in a previous article.)

Having Joe on the ticket makes John look like less of a hawk.

McCain wanted Joe to leave the Democratic Party, as in "Leave her man!"

This is a more exciting ticket for Joe to be on. In 2000, it was, in reality, Bore-Lieberman.

The Democratic refrain: Say it ain't so, Joe.

McCain loses his temper and is somewhat unleavened. Joe is only that way during Passover.

McCain intends to have Lieberman bunk at the White House, so that Joe can answer any 3 AM phone calls that may occur, except on Saturday.

Romney is on his first wife. McCain and Lieberman are both on their second. McCain wanted a running mate with the same divorce rate as his.

Joe will appeal to union members and to African-American and Jewish voters. So they will have all the bases covered, but not Right Field.

My Final Veep Predictions:
If comfort is the key factor, then McCain will pick Lieberman and Obama will pick Virginia Governor Tim Kaine.

The strong possibility of Kaine's being picked is discussed in a New York Times article. He has Kansas roots, is a devout Roman Catholic, opposes abortion and the death penalty, and like Obama, is a Harvard Law school graduate. Kaine has less government experience than Obama. Here are a few more jokes, if you can stand them.

Obama-Kaine has KKK roots. Kansas-Kenya-Kansas.

Having Kaine on the ticket makes Obama look like he has more experience.

No one can accuse Kaine of being a Muslim.

Kaine balances the ticket. Kaine vs. Obama:

unassuming - assuming

opposes abortion - supports

opposes death penalty - supports

On the other hand, they both went to Harvard Law, and they both pronounce "tomato" the same way, as in "you like tomahto, and I like tomaeto" from the old George Gershwin tune.

His name may be Kaine, but he's certainly able.

Campaign slogans. For Obama: On election day, vote Obama-Kaine and pray for no rain. (In the late 1940's, when Warren Spahn and Johnny Sain were the ace pitchers for the Boston Braves, there was the famous phrase "Spahn and Sain and pray for rain".

For McCain: Do you want McCain-Lieberman to govern, or Obama-Kaine to reign?