What to Do If You Run Out of Things to Say on the First Date

Marie Dubuque
You are on the first date with someone who you've liked for a while. So you finally mustered up the courage to ask her out, and here you are at a restaurant having dinner. All is going well until about mid way through dessert, you suddenly can't think of anything to say. There is an awkward silence and nothing is coming out of your mouth. What do you do? What do you say?

First of all, everyone encounters this situation at one time or another. It's important to go in with a game plan, a game-changer if you will, to remedy the situation when it occurs.

Do Your Homework Before the Date

Find out as much as you can about this person without being obvious. Of course, do a Google search. That's a given. But beyond that, ask friends (discreetly) about her. What are her interests? What do you have in common? Is there anything really unique about this person that I should know about? And if your date finds out you have been asking about her, so what? It just means you care, and want to get to know her better.

Talk about Mutual Friends

I don't mean gossip. Talk nicely! There has to be at least one person that you both know. Even if it's just the barista at the coffee shop who introduced you; it doesn't matter. Talk about that person. How do you know him/her? Do you go to that coffee shop often? She could say, "Yes, it's near my European literature class." You could reply, "Oh, I know a lot about European literature. I did my thesis on it." You get the idea. As long as you can find one little thread in common, you can go from there and expand, until you are involved in a three hour long conversation.

Talk about Hopes and Dreams

Ok, that might sound cliche. But everyone has goals and aspirations. And if you get someone started on that subject, you will never shut them up! It could be a simple question that starts the conversation (not where do you see yourself in five years.) You could say, "I've always wanted to travel to_______. If you could go anywhere, where would it be?" Questions like that elicit fascinating responses.

Remember, the less you have to talk the better. If you ask the right questions, you will get your date to open up to you, and really get to know her. And make sure you really listen! Then you will something to talk about on your next date!

Published by Marie Dubuque

Marie Dubuque is an etiquette expert, certified life coach and author. As the host of a popular advice channel on YouTube, she helps viewers with everything from how to deal with job interview jitters to wh...  View profile

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