What If Stephen Colbert Became President?

Much has been made about Stephen Colbert's presidential aspirations. Most news outlets treat his candidacy as a joke, and even his most devout followers question how serious he actually is. However, few people have actually considered his actual qualifications, or what we might expect if he's elected to the highest office in the land.

Colbert - The Philosopher King?

In Book VII of Plato's The Republic Plato presents his vision of an ideal society. First and foremost on the list is the appointment of a "philosopher king," that is, a ruler whose motives are controlled by his rational though rather than irrational rage or envy. Colbert would be a ruler of Platonic aspirations. After all, isn't the razor-edged satire he is known for proof that he thinks with his rational mind? The majority of his jokes point of the absurdity of some politician's stands. If a man knows enough about a subject to make fun of it he surely knows enough to make the right decisions if given the opportunity.

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Indirect corporate sponsorships aside, Colbert has no ties to any of the big SIGS (Special Interest Groups) that have recently made a mockery of our political system. In the United States of Colbert-ica our president would not be bound by lobby groups who paid to get him into office. If Colbert won it wouldn't be due to slick advertising. He would be put in office by the younger generation. His only duty would be to the people. How do you fight corrupt politicians? Elect somebody who's never participated in politics before.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

Once Colbert made it into the White House (with his VP Jon Stewart in tow, of course) we could expect to see many changes to current policies. Based on his character's vastly right-wing views on The Colbert Report we could expect to see an increase in social programs, a repealing of controversial legislation such as The Patriot Act, and a focus on environmental laws, as well as tighter regulation on corporate corruption. Colbert's election would most likely start a trend of electing high-profile activists celebrities across the board. Hello, Senator Affleck? Speaker Sarandon?

Regardless of whether Stephen Colbert's bid for the White House is meant to be taken seriously it is sure to point out the flaws in the election system and awaken the youth vote in 2008. While many balk at the thought of a comedian as President, one need only go back a few decades to find that the man in the roundest office in the world made his name staring in movies with monkeys.

Better than bears.