What I'm Planning to Do With My Tax Refund

When it comes to our annual tax refunds, some people view the check in the mail as found money and openly admit it. That stainless steel stovetop? Sold. The trip to the Caribbean? Booked.

Despite the best intentions to pay off debts and the earmarking of certain bills for immediate payment when the refund arrives, as soon as the big money comes, the big shopping begins.

Statistics however would say otherwise. According a recent Bankrate.com poll, 46% of all tax filers anticipate having a tax refund this year. Out of that amount, 58% said they plan on either paying off bills, saving the money or investing it.

The other 26% said they need the money for necessities. Only 7% weighed in and said they would splurge, with 9% undecided.

Here's my take. The 7% are being totally honest. The rest can be categorized somewhere between well-intentioned (but fooling themselves) and liars.

Mind-mapping and brainstorming has been done. I have put together a tentative inventory of sorts regarding how I plan on spending my refund money. For the cost-conscientious consumer, this list is not for you.

I've been knocking around the idea of putting a deck off of the back of our house. Our house was built not long after the Louisiana Purchase went down, and for some reason, they didn't believe in back doors at the time. We have 3 front entrances and none in the rear. So a glass door onto a raised deck would be spanking.

I could always use a bigger and flatter television. I'm quite certain that within the next decade or so, some wealthy Asian country with a GDP per capita of 1 gajillion will invent a TV that is so flat, it only has one dimension. When it's turned on its side, it will literally disappear.

My daughter wants a pony. Not a My Little Pony mind you. She has plenty of those. She pines for a Welsh Mountain pony with a Western Show equitation saddle, a turnout sheet and its own tack shop. I'll check Ebay.

I'm always fascinated with the things you can find and buy at the dollar store for one dollar. Everything in that store is literally just a buck. That means I could walk away with thousands of one dollar items. I've determined that the clerks in that store have the easiest job ever. The cash registers have a single, giant button that has a '1' on it. That's it. They just need to know how many times to push it.

I could always do something quite noble and splendid, like donate a good portion of it to charity. But that wouldn't leave enough to buy even the smallest of things on the wish list, like an 8-piece Lego set that costs 49.99. I can't believe how expensive those little plastic Lego sets are. But I digress.

OK. This is what I propose. You 9 percenters out there who are undecided - Kindly give your refunds to me. I will invest the combined amount into undeveloped Asian land where we will raise and sell ponies on Ebay.

Either that or I will just by a dishwasher. That's what my wife wants and she always wins anyway.

More from this Contributor:

What to do if you do not receive your W-2

10 things you need to know about your Federal refund

Beware of refund scams