What to Do when My Kids Don't like Her

So you are a single mom or single dad and you feel as though you have finally met the man/woman of your dreams there is just one problem your kids hate her/him. You are now put into a position where you have to choose between your kids or your partner. Any devoted parent will pick their children over any lover despite how amazing he/she might make them feel. But what if you don't want to choose? What if you want your children and your partner in your life together? This situation is not an easy situation to solve. It takes a lot of patience and investigation into the emotions of all involved. There are some steps that you can take to help you lessen the difficulty of the situation and these steps are mentioned below.

1. Take the time and sit down with your kids and find the reason why they don't like your partner. It is very important that you take this step because there may be a serious underlying reason your kids do not like your partner. Often what happens is that parents get so involved in their partners that they neglect the feelings of their children. They do not do this intentionally but it is just something that tends to happen after being alone for so long. Don't let this happen to you and your kids. Keep the line of communication open and find out what is wrong.

You may find that your kids don't like your partner because you seem to enjoy spending more time with him/he as opposed to with them. Maybe your kids do not like your partner's personality. There can be far more serious reasons as to why your kids don't like your partner; maybe your partner touched them the wrong way or said something really hurtful. Be sure to pay attention to your children.

2. If it has just been you and your children for sometime then it can be hard for them to adjust to this new person in your life that seems to be taking up all of your time. If you find that you have been putting plans with your kids on the back burner for sometime then you should set some time aside and spend time together with your child or children. You want to make sure that this is time spent with just you and your children and not your partner. Children need that bonding experience and it can be difficult for them to bond with you in the way that they need to if your partner is always around.

3. Your children may indeed want to like your partner but just feel it impossible to do for some reason. You should set some time aside to spend time with both your partner and children. Find out what your children love doing the best and have a fun filled day doing those things together with your partner. Your children will get to see your partner in a new light and will hopefully be able to bond a bit with him/her.

4. If you have been with your partner for sometime and your partner is trustworthy then maybe you can consider letting him/her spend sometime with your child. Maybe they can go out for an hour lunch or run errands together. Most parents do not introduce their partner to their children until after 6 months to a year. If you feel comfortable with your child being alone with your partner and your child feels comfortable as well then maybe consider doing this. Your child is the most vulnerable and precious gift in your life and you should want to protect them so if your instincts are telling you not to leave your child alone with your partner then you should not and you may want to start looking into whether or not this is the person for you.

5. Only after you and your partner have been together for sometime let your partner sleep over and eat breakfast together. You all can stay up late playing games, eating dinner and maybe watching a movie and eating popcorn. You can then retire for the night and wake up and have breakfast together. This is a great way to bond but you must first make sure that your children are okay with this arrangement otherwise you can be in for a very miserable night.

6. Consider letting your partner attend your kid's special events if you are serious about being together. Your child might or might not like this idea but most children will enjoy the support and will feel good that your partner took time out to come. They will see your partner in a new light.

7. Consider taking a break. Maybe the two of you spend considerable amount of time together and you are oblivious to this because you are in love land. If this is the case just take a one to two week break and focus on your kids. You might find that your children miss your partner's presence and will ask where he or she is.