What to Do When Your Kids Keep Losing Stuff

It never fails. You are on your way out the door, 20 minutes late, granola bar sticking out of your mouth, as you close the door, Junior halts the flow of traffic and bellows, "Do you know where my, iPod, cell phone, wallet, sweater, book, money, glasses, homework (you get the idea) is?"

All parents know what the answer usually is-- "Why can't you keep track of your stuff?!" If you have kids, you've been there or you will be soon. It's hard not to get angry when your child loses something you sacrificed to purchase or that someone else gave to him or her as a gift. Here are some tried and true ideas that I have used for helping my child stop misplacing items. These tips may ease the squeeze on your wallet and on your kid's head!

1) Remain calm, take a few deep breaths and calmly remind him that it is his responsibility and that you will be leaving without the item in question. This probably won't turn them into Nancy Drew over night but it may start a spark to help them become more responsible.

2) Place the responsibility directly in the kid's hands. Inform her that you will not be picking up the tab if the item is not found. This teaches the child a major life lesson about working for and using money. If your older child is constantly losing pricey objects that you cannot afford to replace, let him know he will pay for any replacement. In a forum for parents at parents.berkeley.edu/advice, most of the parents agreed that placing the responsibility on the person losing the item works best.

3) Emphasize the positive by building on what your kid doesn't lose. Maybe she loses her wallet constantly but never, ever loses her cell phone or library books. Help her keep track of when and where something gets lost. Maybe it's when there is a time crunch or lots of people around. Maybe it's when she hasn't been feeling well, OR when YOU haven't been feeling well. From past experience I've seen my daughter get forgetful when I was the one who was under the weather and that is when she misplaces things. (See number 2)

4) Remove your frustrations from the scene and ask your kid what happens if SHE doesn't find her homework or her wallet? What are the consequences she must face if her glasses are gone? Offer your help not in finding or replacing the item but with realizing what she truly is responsible for. (See number 2!)

5) Help them get organized. I am sure you've heard it before, but do you have a place by the door to keep important items that need to go to school? This truly works by using the opposite of the old adage, "out of sight out of mind". Show your kids how to use a shelf or bin for items that need to be kept track of. Section off a corner of their bedroom for electronics or homework. It's easier for them when they know that there is an area just for their stuff and no one else's.

Turning things around can immensely relieve the pressure on you, the parent and will help your child answer her own question of "where's my stuff"?