What Kids Need to Learn About Strangers

No matter how hard parents try to keep an eye on their kids, children can get lost. When it happens, it's easy for parents and guardians to forget what to do, and panic instead. Some public places have standard procedures about what to do if a child gets lost, so be sure to notify authorities immediately.

The beach is a fun and exciting place, and many families visit it with their children. Unfortunately, the beach does not come without dangers. Take the time to learn about potential dangers that come with sun exposure, dehydration, undertow, and lost children.

The Center to Prevent Lost Children indicates that 90 percent of families will experience losing a child in a public place at least once. The U.S. Department of Justice reports that 300,000 kids become temporarily lost for at least one hour. Luckily, the majority of these kids are found unharmed.

Safety Around Strangers

Parents and children need to learn how to deal with strangers for two reasons: (1) to teach children how to prevent abduction, and (2) to address the anxiety that parents feel if their child should be abducted.

Although, there are many programs that teach about "stranger danger," still children go willingly with strangers. Why? Because kids don't really hear or understand what adults are saying.

Adults need to understand what children believe about strangers, and specific rules and guidelines must in place and understood to preserve your child's safety around strangers.

Are They Strangers or Offenders?

Offenders are people who abduct and/or abuse children they most likely don't know. They do not seek a relationship with the child, as do abusers. An abuser usually knows child, such as a relative, family friend or neighbor. An offender thinks of children as objects for their use.

An offender can be a passive exhibitionist to a sadistic murderer. They use bribery, flattery, treats and simple requests for help to get children engaged in their plan. Some strangers actually grab a child and take them away, but usually children are lured into what seems to be an innocent situation by someone that seems to be a "nice" person.

The beach can be a particular concern as pedophiles 'hang out' in places that provides easy access to children. Pedophiles can easily molest a child in a bathroom or dressing area. Usually, the child is released and the offender disappears and blends in with other people on the beach.

Because there is no way to anticipate an offender's action, the best defense is to keep kids away from strangers. This is the parent's responsibility, but children need to be educated and learn rules to help reduce the risks associated with strangers.

A Child's Point of View

Children have heard about strangers, but most have a distorted idea of who and what a stranger really is. What parents have said about strangers makes sense to adults, but may not make sense to kids.

Children believe there are two types of people in the world: good guys and bad guys. We've taught them to watch out for the bad guys, beware or strangers, don't take candy from strangers, and don't talk to strangers. But, it's almost impossible to have no interaction with strangers for kids as it is for adults.

Teaching children to be afraid of strangers does not work; fear only tends to frighten. Telling your kids they should not talk to strangers or get into a car with them because the stranger might take them away just reinforces fear without protection.

Safe Children

Instead of fear tactics, help your children to understand that you cannot tell what kind of person they are just because they appear to be a good or bad. Children need to learn about strangers without lumping strangers into one stereotype description.

Kids need to learn that they must be responsible for their safety. They need to take care of themselves if they are alone. A parent or responsible adult cannot be with a child every second of every day.

Kids get hurt by being friendly and helpful to strangers. They need to know they have permission to ignore or deny a request for assistance from a stranger.

Rules Checklist

1. A stranger is someone you do not know. The good guys may not look any different than the bad guys. Keep yourself safe when you're by yourself.

2. Teach children to be responsible and to take care of themselves. Teach them to report that someone needs help to another adult.

3. Teach your kids to listen to their inner voice, and first thoughts are usually right.

4. Always stay an arms reach away from strangers. If a child feels afraid, teach them to run to someone who can help.

5. Teach your kids to avoid talking or befriending a stranger.

6. Teach kids that they must never take anything from strangers, even if it is something of their own or that they may have dropped. .

7. Never go anywhere with someone you do not know.

Protecting kids from abuse and abduction by strangers must be a partnership between you and your children. Teach your kids about strangers as positively and clearly as you teach them how to cross the street.