What Kind of Tattoo Are You?

We grow into adulthood often wondering what we can expect from ourselves and others as we confront the intricate labyrinth of relationships. From childhood we may have been admonished that honesty is the best policy, truth will out, no one likes a liar, only cowards are afraid of doing the right thing, etc. As adolescents we may have "rolled our eyes" at the mention of these cliches not really thinking about how critical they are in shaping character.

So, as we travel the road of adulthood these homilies really become guides and we either adhere or not. There just is no middle ground. Although we don't always adhere since, like a faucet, we can turn on or off the evil twin within us. Our ambivalence, we rationalize, is normal since we are, after all, human. Yet, we find that once we enter a relationship and espouse a commitment there are mutual expectations of loyalty and trust that must not be violated. Before we get to that point we should also realize that, like a tattoo, commitment to a relationship should be forever, because they are difficult and painful to shed. And if our expectations cannot tolerate abrogation that commitment must be mutually shared.

What kind of tattoo are you?

It should come as no surprise, when we occasionally fail to respect our mate, that they remind us of this slight and however temporary, silence ensues rather than apology. What makes us so obtuse to apology is more likely our hubris. What makes us so vain is our sense of inequality, driven by a conceit we delude ourselves to believe which needs no leavening.

What kind of tattoo are you?

Whenever we are quick to blame are we also quick to forgive? Are either really necessary when there is only suspicion? Can there ever be sufficient proof that suspicions are valid in the absence of facts? To what end then do we point the finger of blame and promise gratuitous forgiveness? Circumstantial events do not a case make and serve only to further tarnish trust.

What kind of tattoo are you?

Perhaps we need constant reminders that human nature is poorly understood, inadequately developed, and imperfectly construed by the wisest of sages. Is it not true that what we perceive in others we like is mostly good. What pleases us with others, since our time here is so short and the best must be made of encounters, is that they please us. We need, then, to simply build upon that perception. It becomes the foundation for our conscious and unconscious behavior toward that person or those persons. Is it not in our self interest to embrace the positive and use that focus to further please ourselves and those with whom we share our space?

What kind of tattoo are you?