What You Need to Know About Grandparents Rights in Iowa
The Best Kept Secret in Our State
I next went to one of our local hospitals where I made my way to the cafeteria to talk to visitors and staff. I was soon approached by seven different grandmothers all with a story to tell of how they had been denied their grandchildren. One grandmother had not seen her grandchildren for three years due to a divorce. It did not shock me to learn that these woman had not known about the bill being passed giving Grandparents Rights in Iowa. Why should the general public know about a new bill when a state agency and practicing attorneys didn't realise. I spent most of the afternoon talking to people asking them if they had heard about the new bill being passed and the majority had no idea it existed.
Next I decided to post information about the new bill about Grandparents Rights in Iowa on the Internet. I posted information on Myspace, CafeMom, and I made a web page promoting Grandparents Rights in Iowa. Myspace was a surprise. I expected more feedback but had only one person comment and he was for Grandparents Rights. CafeMom returned eleven comments out of 138 votes. The poll I designed on CafeMom was sixty percent were against Grandparents Rights, twenty-five percent were for it and fifteen percent were undecided. The sites I posted on mainly attract a younger user which gave me a better view of how the younger generation feels concerning Grandparents Rights. The web page I designed only had eight people view it but nearly thirty people viewed the article concerning Grandparents Rights in Iowa.
I have witnessed alot of heartache by grandparents in Iowa and have connected on-line to many others in various states that are denied their grandchildren. Most of these grandparents have no idea what their rights are, have no idea who to contact and feel that no one cares. Many factors come into why a grandchild is suddenly taken from a grandparent and no case is the same. A parent in most cases doesn't even have to give you a reason why you suddenly are denied your grandchild. Please don't expect much help from DHS as their concern will be will the parent. In order for a child to be removed from the parents care you must be able to prove iron clad that abuse, neglect or drugs are invloved. If the child is getting minimal care they will do nothing. As a grandparent your age, finaces, heatth, etc could be used against you should the child be taken out of the parents home. The child maybe given into your care but you may have to take a class to show you can take care of the grandchild.
Published by Denise Murphy
Resident of Iowa for over 30 years,Editors Choice Award from Poetry.com for Sea of Grief, In Yahweh's Hands a novel about to go into it's second printing,over 52 articles & Channel Champion on Helium.com, 4... View profile
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19 Comments
Post a CommentMy granddaughter was removed from her mother's care after the child at four months had bruises on her face in the shape of a hand and blood in her eye from someone trying to keep her from crying. There were many different stories from the mother and the aunt that was watching the baby. They insisted it was a cat that had ran across the baby's face. She was released to the mother due to lack of evidence. 1 week later there was a call to DHS that the mother was refusing to care for the child. The girl she was living with said the mother/my daughter wouldn't change the diapers or feed her and sleep all day and go out at night. DHS called me and I picked up the baby before I had to go into work. I raised this child as my own for 5 years with minimal contact from the mother. After DHS decided they could not go on with this case, they dismissed it and the child went back to her mother. Since then I have not seen my granddaughter and she is not allowed to have ANY contact with family or friends that were in her life and cared for her for 5 years! I went to court and my lawyer and I did not prove her unfit so they dismissed the case AGAIN!!!! The mother terminated the father's rights (which I have no clue how that happened). He had seen the child many times while the child was with me. DHS approved it! So what is this really doing to this child to think that no one cares EVEN HER MOTHER about her feelings!!!! I have seen her in the stores and told her I love her and she hangs her head. My friends have seen her and when they say anything about me she hangs her head! My daughter is remarried and moved out of town. We are not allowed to send presents or talk on the phone. When my granddaughter was told she had to have visits with her mother she would throw a fit not wanting to go. She would then come back telling us she wasn't allowed to talk of the family or her grandmother. I feel so bad that I cannot help this child and I am so afraid it is going to cause her mental stress. Why don't the court do as they say, "the best interest of the child!!!" My daughter has OCD. Nothing anyone does is good enough so I can't imagine this child living a life like that. I cannot begin to explain everything my daughter has done to people in her and her daughter's life (and her husband's family) but I know that she now has no family or friends. Her mother-in-law has since passed but she was allowed contact with her son (my daughter's husband). I just want my granddaughter to know that there still are people out here who care about her and love her. How is this right?
We cherish every minute we spend with our grandchildren, Until recently the mother to one of our granddaughter's has decided that we are not " good enough and a danger" to her. This is the 4th time she has done this in about 6 years or so. When she gets angry at the father she decides we are a danger to our granddaughter. Recently on our last vist, our granddaughter said she was concered her mother would try to keep her away from us AGAIN. Her mother was upset with her father, and about not getting $ from us for clothes and other things. She would probably ground her from seeing us! (The last time it was almost 6 months before we could see her again) That's her way of punishing us. We try to teach our grandchildren to be respectful of their parents and to others. We feel she should show some respect to us as we do help her out at times. We've bought clothes, shoes, glasses a bike to ride to school have helped out with school supplies over the years.I have taken her to Dr. appt. picked up from school, went to her award programs, plays and taken her on weekends trip with us. All this we wouldlove to do again and again. She loves helping grandpa on the garden and go on bike rides with him .We'e been asked us to take our grandaughter for two weeks so she could take a vacation a few years ago. When she needed $ for a legal matter we helped out there as well. We're good enough to ask for help with money but now we're not allowed to visit or call our granddaughter because... ? .As Rodney Dangerfield said "I can't get any respect" .What's this world comming to, that grandparents who want what 's best for there grandchildren, are forced to go to court so that they can see them because a parent is mad at the other parent! We're not saying she's unfit, (I'd like to say it is, but I doubt the law would agree) but that she is being unreasonable and unfair not only to us but her own child? She still has haterd towards my son who is the father and is not allowed to see his daughter, except when she was with us, who she says now are a danger .I recieved a text from her saying" She's keeping everyone from hurting her child " and therefore we are to stay away! She has taken the phone away so we can not call her. She refuses to listen to reason.So my question to her and any one else in the same situation is WHO'S PROTECTING HER CHILD FROM HER????
While it must be extremely sad to lose a grandchild, there has to be a way for a parent to protect their child from abusive grandparents. My mother verbally and sexually abused me as a child, and I do not ever want her to be alone with my children. At the same time, she is suave and charming, and a respected member of the community, so I am scared that if it came to a court battle she would win, leaving my children at the hands of a monster.
If parents ate of sound mind, I think they, not the courts, need to decide who their children are exposed to.
My son and his exwife split up in 2007, after his exwife assulted him. My granddaughters mother was given custody of her until the divorce was finalized and my son was granted custody of my granddaughter. Well after my son was granted custody of my granddaughter everytime we turned aroundher mother was calling DHS on us. Well in January of 2009 it finally ended up in juvenile court and after 3 1/2 years my granddaughter's mother decided that she wanted a DNA test done and it was granted by the court. Well we found out in august that my granddaughter was not biologically my son's little girl so he let her mother convince him that he would lose her so he just gave her back to her mom. WEll I haven't seen my grandduaghter, (and emotionally she is my granddaughter even though she isn't biologically), in 4 months. And it was me that raised that little girl from the time that she came home from the hospital. Mom and dad neither one could handle getting up with her through the night withou
My daughter is involved in a very nasty child custody dispute since Jan. 09'. My grandchild is in temp. custody of the paternal grandmother, whom is denying us any over nights, and we've only been able to vist with grandchild aprx. 5-6 times since the custody issue. We have attempted to ask DHS to consider us for placement (we have been very involved in grandchild's life since birth) and they are denying, saying that other grandparent is safe etc.., however, our family feels otherwise about it.
Lawyers want lg. sum of money for a retainer, not elegible for legal aide assistance, and we are unable to come up with the retainer! Our hearts are breaking, and don't know where to turn.
I have seen my granddaughter maybe 6 times since she was born, my son's girlfriend does not like us, so she forbids us from seeing Maddie, and my son is afraid of up set this woman cause she has threaten to take the baby and he would just be a part time dad. We have tried so many times to see her and my heart is broke, its like Maddie died and I have a hole in my heart so big nothing will fill it. We are good people, we have done nothing wrong, except bailing them out and now we ran out of money and when that happened, we are now unable to see her. We need rights too, all I want to do is love my granddaughter and my son.
i think this is garbage!i am a father and if i say my child isn't going to be around someone i have a good reason!i don't play petty games.i am a 27 year old grown man and not even a court is going to make me potentially put my children into harms way or subject them to beliefs or opinions that are contrary to our teachings.i feel that any person who would act on this against an adult isn't in it because of the grandchild.i feel it's because they want to try to maintain control in someone else's life!if you are a decent person and truly deserving of spending time with SOMEONE ELSE'S child you won't need to exercise this.if someone tried to take my right as a parent to choose who my child can be around i would simply make said children unavailable until i could move leaving no forwarding address.this ruling takes away any incentive to try to get along with the girlfriend/boyfriend(ex or otherwise),as long as you have enough money to pay a lawyer.simply put..if you can't stand me how can
Call rejection....The babys mother is a lying manipulating blah blah blah and we have had some ugly fights past few weeks but this is below the belt and I will NEVER forgive them for taking my joy from me.....I didnt get to se ethe birth but her friends did (no relation) I got a call 7 hrs later.....Sad but I dont even feel a bond with the baby at all...Im scared to cus I know what they r gonna do...before the baby was even here she said if my son wasnt gonna be with her....WE werent gonna see him....i knew then...was gonna be drama
My heart goes out to u and every other Grandparent that has to go thru this...My grandson isnt even a month old yet and i have had him ONCE! They have left him over night with the town drug dealer...yet i had to take him home at 11 at night...I dont know what ive done besides not get along with the babys mother but my son has completely turned his back on me at this point...There are NO grandparents rights here in IOWA so Im screwed...
I have been physically ill over all this..not sleeping etc etc and i have to "unattatch" myself from them ALL....Baby included....If they r only gonna bring him around when convenient for them, I want no part of it...No matter what goes on between me and them, has absolutely NUTHIN to do with the baby...Im devastated...My first grandchild and I feel like an outsider....I jus have to be done with them...I pray nightly that god will watch over my grandbaby and keep him safe....I will not play their sick game anymore....I have placed all their numbers on c
My daughter & my grandson have been living in our home now for the past year & she also had her boyfriend here until she broke up with him(she is also pregnant again not my grandsons father), I kicked him out per her request. Now they are back together(he does not live here) & this are a real mess. She & my almost 2 years old grandson are still living in our home but she does everything she can to keep him from us. We hear him almost every night crying & crying because she keeps him in their room. All he wants is to see Grandma & Grandpa or she will be gone with him all day & not come home til she knows we are in bed. Now she got approved for section 8 & I guess is moving this weekend so I am afraid that I will never see him & it is breaking my heart because we have been with him since the day he was born. I have 2 other grandchildren that I don't see much because the parents tried to use the children as a weapon against us. My daughter blames the way she is acting on her pregnan