What Laid-Back Really Means in the Mediterranean

The sun, the sea, chatting leisurely in cafes--ah, this is the life for an expat living in the Mediterranean, right? Well, sometimes. But the laid-back attitude of a Mediterranean culture can wreak havoc with the nerves of long-staying tourists or expats who come from more time-pressured societies.

Here are the negative sides of a laid-back culture, as in Malta (where I have lived for the past three years) and also southern Italy, Spain and some of the North African nations.

Laid back means:

1. Waiting for up to ten minutes in a small shop to pay while the shop owner carries on a conversation with a friend or family member on the phone in front of you.

2. Waiting in a small shop to pay while the shop owner has a lively conversation with a local customer who he hasn't seen in a while--right in front of you.

3. Waiting for help in a department store where the young salespeople don't feel any pressure to help the next customer, especially if they're engaged in a chat.

4. Waiting behind a vehicle whose driver stops in the middle of the road to chat on his/her cell phone--or lean out the window to shout prolonged greetings at a neighbor.

5. Asking your laid-back landlord to fix something in your apartment or flat that breaks. I went without hot water for three weeks until the landlord decided it was time to call the plumber. And this was after I called or texted him every single day.

6. Having a shop door closed in your face at 15 minutes to one when the shop is supposed to close at 1 pm for the three-hour siesta.

7. Making an appointment for any type of utility service person--plumber, electrician, phone or Internet repair expert who doesn't show up

8. Being late to work because a laid-back bus driver decided to stop along his route, go home and take a nap. Yes, this has been a regular occurrence, especially since the implementation of a brand new bus system.

9. Sitting idly by in a cafe and waiting two hours for the waiter to come and bring a menu.

10. Sitting idling by in a cafe and then waiting another two hours for the bill to come.

11. Waiting 8 hours for the police to come after a reported break-in at a language school.

12. Waiting 45 minutes for an ambulance to come after being called about a woman who fell on the street and broke her nose.

13. Going to your doctor who is ready take your blood to measure your thyroid hormone and who realizes he doesn't have the tube to put the blood in. This is after you waited for one hour. The doctor frantically searches his drawers and cabinets for a tube and then runs out to his car. After he returns with no luck and no tube, he asks you if you can come back tomorrow. (At this point, you're glad he didn't find one because it scares you to think that a doctor doesn't keep track of his basic supplies.

14. Going to the dentist who messed up his appointment book and asks you to come back tomorrow. What's the big deal? This is a laid-back place, right?

15. Going to Malta's only authorized Apple Stop which has none of Apple's latest products which are already out in other electronic and computer stores in Malta.

16. Hearing your director of a language school say to his staff that the manager wants the teachers to use more hi-tech tools in their classrooms, such as interactive whiteboards. And then the director says, "You don't have to really use them; just request to use them on our company website so that the managers will think you're using them."

At some point, you begin to realize that being laid back has nothing to do with you--the newcomer to this country. But laid back has everything to do with the locals who live here. They're the ones who enjoy a laid-back lifestyle and take their time responding to things like giving service in a restaurant or shop, answering the phone in the hospital, even charging you money. At one point, the electricity service in Malta was reprimanded for not sending a bill to their customers in 9 months. People--who were too laid back to put aside the money each month--began to fear what the bill would be like when they did get it. And, of course, when they did get it--it was for hundreds of Euros which they had already spent.

By the end of their first year in a Mediterranean country, many expats begin to think of laid-back as really meaning lazy. And many people begin to resent it. But why complain? After all, there's the sun, sea and those leisurely cups of coffee at a cafe...

Ilene Springer lives and teaches ESL in laid-back Malta. She is author of An-American-in-Malta.com.