What is it Like to Be an Army Wife

As a new member of the military family you have entered a new world. Saying "Yes" to your man in uniform was more than you might have thought. You also said "Yes" to being part of a society very different to the civilian society you were once part of. First let me say welcome to the club, you will experience things and know things that only a military wife will ever understand. It can feel lonely at first, but you will soon learn to lean on the other wives in a sisterhood that lasts a lifetime. A main part of being a military family is getting used to the new "boss", The Army. This, elusive and vague grouping of leadership which constantly changes, will decide when and how you and your family will do everything. That's right he signed the papers but, you sign a paper binding you to him so the army is your commitment now too.

Expect not to see too much of your new husband. Some are lucky enough to get married at a time when a short time off for honeymoon and making living arrangements, however courtroom weddings on lunch breaks are common. He will usually go to PT (physical training) around 5:30 or so and may come back home to take a shower and change before returning to work for morning formation. These formation throughout the day are very important and he will get in trouble if he is late so rushing and irritability at things that slow him down are normal. He may get an hour or so for lunch and be able to come home or met you out for lunch which is nice, but their lunch time and length can be different everyday or canceled altogether, it's Your job to be flexible, not his so be patient. The end of the day for most soldiers in the infantry here at Ft.Campbell is around 5pm. Some lucky days are called early, but during training and deployment preparation most days runs long and overnight stays on base in "the field" are a regular thing. The Army does give a good amount of vacation day, but the catch is they tell your husband when to take the vacation and it doesn't always work out on holidays or other usual vacation times. Part of being an army wife is learning that he doesn't choose to be working late, he has to. All soldiers will not have the same routine, but this is generally what it will be like.

Dealing with the military base is another big aspect of your new lifestyle. If you live on the base you will be close to the commissary (the duty free grocery store), the PX (tax free shopping center), and the Shoppettes (tax free gas stations). Shopping at these places can save you money but, being honest, they can tend to be crowded especially on payday. On base there are a lot of rules about your home and the way you live. Military Police do seem to have a lot of time on their hands to answer complaints from noise to trash, and lawn care to pets. They will come to your door and tell you to clean up your yard, or mow the grass and, if they notice a messy house they can tell you to clean up inside too. GO the seed limit on base! The MP's will pull you over and ticket you for 1 mile an hour over the limit. You should always drive careful on base anyway because soldiers often march and run along the main roads. If you live off base your daily life will be less immersed in the army, the drawback being your husband may have a longer commute to work. There are plenty of affordable apartments and homes near military bases, and most neighborhoods near the bases are majority other military families or retirees. You will have to go onto the base for various things such as doctor or hospital visits, shopping, attending meetings for families, or to use the pools, bowling alleys, and movie theaters. Your car will have to be registered and receive a sticker for your window. You need your Military issued ID everywhere from the gate to the stores, This ID usually takes over as the main ID for military wives and many of us start to forget our license because we never use it. You and your car is subject to search at the gates and, Yes they do search cars randomly on a regular basis so have your license, ID, registration and proof of insurance with you (you should anyway but, you won't get on base with out it if you get pulled for a search).

The social aspect of the Army wife lifestyle is different for each woman. There can be a lot of highschool type drama and gossip between wives. Something common is wives who assume the rank of their husbands. Ladies, no wife has earned the right to talk down to you based only on the fact that her husband has a higher rank. There are always other women at your level, new guys come in all the time and with them new wives. You will grow close to other women and couples close to your husbands rank not necessarily his age. Don't worry in the army rank is a better judge of maturity then age in most cases so you will find friends that you relate to well in a broad age range. You can plan on having company or going out any day of the week. Off time is off time whether its Monday or Friday. Have a good time and be friendly to people he works with but, make sure you realize you going to be around people he works with no matter where you go around town, so conduct yourself like your husband boss is watching because he could be there. Not to make it seem like you have to be proper all the time, I'm just saying, if you dance on the bar, at the local bar, someone will probably see you and within what seems like seconds everyone knows about your wild streak.

The old life, well, its gone and you may still keep in close touch with non-military friends and of course your family. Be prepared for these people who knew you so well before to not understand the things you deal with or what you are talking about at all. You will quickly pick up on military terms and slang, but remember civilians not close to the military won't know the terms, they will ask silly and aggravating questions, and they will sometimes even insult you without know it. Just let it roll off your back and call an army wife friend, you can just laugh it all off together. Good luck on your new journey and always feel free to ask questions to other wives, we all were new at one point so we are happy to help you adjust. If you find a bitter wife, just pass her by and ask someone else, its easier to deal with army life if you have a laugh at yourself attitude.