What Love is Not

Love is the strongest feeling in the world. Like everyone else, you must have the emotional attachment to love and to be loved in return. But the best experiences of love have been downplayed by substitutions of love with things that aren't love at all. For the people who want to be truly in love, I would like to point out the following aspects of love that are not love at all.

Love kills, and it killed Jesus. The representation of death and love in red is not a coincidence at all. There are many other people apart from Christ that have died in horrific circumstances simply because they were in love. Love for brother, sister, mother, father or your sweetheart is a great feeling that you should protect and always be sure of. Despite this, heartbreaks due to sour relationships have always been experienced simply because of the wrong things attributed to love. Some of these wrong things about love include:

1. Giving: Giving in love is the best prove that someone is in love with you. To demand prove of love, many people have demanded that they be given a sign in terms of either material benefits or just being together. This is absurd and it should be remembered that someone who loves you does not have to give you a sign. Being given is not love; on the other hand love is the willingness to give your best to the person you are in love with, demanding very less from him or her. Sometimes the endless demands that you might be giving your loved one are the initiator of fading love

2. Money: I have had several times that many ladies will never fall in love with a poor man. A small story can help illustrate how money contributes to love. There lives a couple in Nandi hills in Kenya. When the young man was getting married, he had nothing (not a house, not any land, no spares clothing, nothing) but a young beautiful lady fell for him. Recent research in the district revealed of all the couples in the district, they were the happiest. When the old man (now over 80 years old) was asked the source of his happiness, he simply said that it is because he had a loving caring wife, a wife who could ensure that his life was easy and satisfied with simple things nature can provide.

3. Sex: During a breakfast session in one of the local radio stations, there was a debate on whether sex and love are equal. Most men agreed that love without sex cannot survive whereas the ladies said that love and sex are not synergetic. Research by a local daily revealed that many women between the ages of 30 and 45 preferred sex and that their love died when they are not satisfied. But what people in love should know is that associating sex with love is risking their relationships. Sex should be like a need being provided by a loving partner but not a condition to be demanded in order to prove love.

4. Time: Women prefer spending a lot of time with their loved ones than men. On the other hand men would prefer to spend some time with their folks in the neighborhood as opposed to having quality time with the spouse or girlfriend. The fact that a man does not give a lot of time to the spouse or the girlfriend does not mean that he is not in love. Time should not be associated with love to the extent of claiming that because he does not spend too much time with you, then he is not in love.

5. Friends: When in a relationship, you must appreciate that your partner had friends that used to keep him or her company. The fact that now the two of you have agreed to spend the rest of your lives together does not mean those friends, whether female or male ceases to exist. Though there are some friends that must be gotten rid of for the sake of the relationship, the fact that your partner still values some of the former friends does not imply lack of love for you.

These things though not love, exist in a relationship. The only way to maintain a quality life is to be able to give attention to your partner, provide for him or her, share quality time together, understand his or her friends, and be happy together forever.