What Makes Will Power So Powerful?

Will power is not something we're born with. Will power is similar to self-confidence and self-esteem, which must be learned, nurtured and strengthened to thrive. In fact, we don't usually realize we even have will power until we try to give up something that isn't good for us. What makes will power so...powerful? Apparently, we do.

Colleen Clark* gave up her 15-year/half-a-pack-a-day cigarette habit cold turkey. She relied on neither nicotine gum nor nicotine patch, but only her will power.

"It was difficult but I had two important reasons to succeed: my daughter and my health," Clark says. "All I did was avoid the places and habits that elicited smoking, like not going for coffee with the smokers at work or not drinking. The anti-smoking laws here in Edmonton also helped since I couldn't smoke anywhere inside most places."

Forces within and around us can assist our exercise of will power as much as others can work against it. Physical dependence is one example, though that is not the only nemesis will power battles when trying to put an end to bad habits, according to Dr. John P.J. Pinel, professor of Behavioural Neuroscience at the University of British Columbia, in Biopsychology. "Most addicts take drugs not to escape or avoid the unpleasant consequences of withdrawal or conditioned withdrawal, but rather to obtain the drug's positive effects," Pinel explains.

Addictions come in many forms. Your "drug of choice" may be drugs or alcohol, but it can also be coffee, food, love, work, sex or shopping. The challenges to will power are all around you. As Clark showed, will power pulls us back from those nasty habits. If a person's will power isn't very strong, he or she may struggle more with staying on track. Will power is about overcoming very strong forces.

Dr. Elizabeth Atherton-Reid, a chartered psychologist in Edmonton, offers these tips for boosting your will power:

When it comes to will power, being open to change is half the battle. "People don't realize they have a problem, nor do they believe you when you tell them so," Atherton-Reid says. "If one is open to making changes, they've already conquered half the battle of increasing the will power to succeed."

Make a plan you can see. Once you make the decision to change, make a plan. Write it out and put it up somewhere you'll be able to see it, Atherton-Reid says. "Keeping it right there will make it difficult to ignore and easier to stay on track." Part of exercising will power is keeping your goal firmly in mind.

Change the "mental tapes" that tax your will power. It's easy to see how a person can slip into depression and lose their will power when all they tell themselves is how terrible everything is. The next time one of those mental tapes plays, boost your will power by switching to a more positive one.

Baby steps. Give yourself small, short-term goals to reach, and applaud each step. That will keep you motivated, even when you may not have as successful a day tomorrow. Will power is all about the long haul.

Surround yourself with positive, supportive people. "When people tell me they're unhappy, one of the first things I do is get them to take a personal inventory," Atherton-Reid says. "What are your friends like? Do they have views that the world is a terrible place? Do they support your goals and desired changes? If not, you need a new support group." In many ways, will power is about the group dynamic.

Make the right choices for you. Being the person other people want you to be isn't going to make you happy. Follow your heart and your own dreams. "I have patients come to me so unhappy with their career or relationship choices, they feel lost," Atherton-Reid says. "Once I ask them questions about what they truly want, we can help get on a happier path. It's all about making choices best for you and no one else. People who truly love you will support your choices and cheer your success."

Perhaps Clark explained will power best: "You can do anything you set your mind to. You just have to believe in yourself and in the reasons for making the changes."

*Colleen Clark's name was changed for the purposes of this article to preserve her privacy.