What Do Man's Shoes Say About the Man?

In the now classic film, Notting Hill, you may remember the scene where Anna Scott (played by Julia Roberts) comments on the size of William Thacker 's feet (William is played by Hugh Grant). She asks, "You know what they say about men with big feet? Big feet...large shoes." She pauses ever so slightly before the word 'shoes'. At this point we all know it wasn't really shoes she was alluding to.

Do large shoes, which, you'd assume, harbor large feet, bear some clue to the size of owner's genitalia or his potential as a lover? I think more research is required in this area. I can just picture you, dear reader, standing at the bus stop on your way to work tomorrow, silently examining the shoes of your fellow commuters and, inadvertently smiling at the man in possession of the largest pair. He may just smile back knowingly.

Though you may be disappointed. The current trend in men's shoes has them wearing long, pointy, kill-the-cockroach-in-the-corner shoes, sort a low-heel version of Jimmy Choo that disguise the actual length of the wearer's feet. The man in possession of these is not concerned with comfort. Keeping up with the latest trends is all that is important . This man spends a lot of time in front of the mirror and likes to catch reflections of himself in the shop fronts or escalator walls. At the end of the day he could just be an average guy with small feet and some big shoes to fill. So what other potentially useful information can we glean from a man's shoes?

The beautifully polished black leather shoes are definitely the right equipment for climbing the career ladder. These shoes show confidence, care in one's appearance, wealth and desire to succeed.

The opposite can be said about the guys with dirty shoes. They just don't give a damn about their appearance. They are not generally aspiring to anything. It's easy to picture this guy in a stained t-shirt in front of TV stuffing his face with crisps and wiping oily hands on himself.

What can be said about guys that wear shoes that are falling apart? Well nothing encouraging, really. Either their lives have equally fallen apart and they ceased to care about their appearance, or they are just too broke or too tight to invest in another pair of shoes.

Lace up doc martins boots display a certain kind of attitude, especially those with the union jack. These guys are anti-establishment, often for good reasons. They are rebels. They are angry. They want justice!

Men's shoes with a high heel are called Latin shoes in the dance world. They may be a sign that the wearer thinks of himself as a Latin lover, or it could be that he is just trying to get a bit more height.

Guys wearing old runners to work generally work in IT. This guy has entered into a life-long relationship with his computer. You can not expect much attention from him. It would be a safe bet that the number of computer widows worldwide has now exceeded the population of India.

Finally, we come to thongs, the beach-ware that is now worn everywhere. Thongs really bare all. Men just do not realize how much a naked foot gives away. Not only can you see the actual size of the foot, you can also tell a lot about the health and personality of the owner. Yellow toenails - long term smoker and/or drinker. Cracked heels or toe fungus - appalling diet. Foot odor, dirty soles or long dirty toenails - lack of personal hygiene. Thick hairs sprouting from toes and top of foot - well, some of you may find this alluring. A naked male foot is, in most cases, not a pretty sight. It takes a special man to wear the naked foot with confidence.

* Quote from Notting Hill taken from http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Notting_Hill