What it Means to Be an Army Wife
About a week after that conversation I found out I was leaving for home the next day. As a creature of impulse who is lead by her heart there was no doubt that this was love. The following morning, following a night talking of the future I said those three little words I'd been dying to utter. He said what I knew was true, that he loved me, too. It was a bittersweet parting. This was just the beginning and I couldn't wait for what was to come.
Once I returned home to Phoenix, Arizona I began writing to him every day. For months. Throughout these months I was also faced with the continuing struggle to convince some that this was real and that this was the best thing that had ever happened to me. Long conversations about the responsibilities and life changing events that would occur if I married this man came with regularity. It seemed I had few on my side. Then after months of waiting I finally was reunited with my soldier, my knight in shining armor. It was the first Saturday drive to Ft. Huachuca, Arizona in a line of many. My two best friends finally had the opportunity to meet him. There was finally a nod of approval. After many Saturday drives everyone agreed that this was a man who knew his way. While his personal traits make him who he is, the Army made him more. Everyone saw it and knew he was the one for me.
Through these small trials and tribulations we came together in such a way that few could probably understand. The Army not only made him strong, it shaped me. In retrospect, I was being conditioned to handle the life of the Army wife. That, I will forever be grateful for because two months later the shock wave of an almost instantaneous life upheaval was ebbing to the surface. Three weeks after we were married I was saying goodbye to everything I had in my life except for this man. I'd spent almost my whole life in Phoenix and was on to Ft. Bragg, North Carolina. At first, it was exciting and new. It wore off and the alienation set in. I was in a place I knew nothing about. My husband had spent a lot of his life traveling and away from home. This was a normal transition for him. Not so much for me. He was there helping me along the way, knowing that I was there because I love him. Soon, the parting with an old life became the sensation of having that life being the reason I was with this man.
Once I adjusted to this new life I realized that I'm one lucky girl. Not only do I have a great husband, but I have a man who is fighting for me. I also have the unique opportunity to represent my country by proudly wearing my Army wife badge of honor. As he and I prepare for his first deployment, I can tell everyone out there that my husband is going to fight for you. Sure, it's been tough working around training schedules, the day-to-day and everything that comes between. You know what though, at the end of the day he gives his life to the Army to have the chance to come home to me and to give that chance to every husband and wife out there. That's an incredible feeling.
So, what does it mean to be an Army wife? I've learned that it means supporting our soldiers and country at all costs. An Army wife has the understanding that she won't always come first. She stands by her man with overwhelming pride. An Army wife brings the love, peace and comfort home everyday. She's the one in the background that gives her soldier a reason to fight. Being an Army wife means sacrificing anything to be by his side, because he's sacrificing everything for you.
Published by Sheena Hayes
Loving wife, slightly neurotic and an eternal student. Will forever be a love slave to the arts. Award winning writer and musician. Pursuing a degree in English Lit. at the moment. View profile
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25 Comments
Post a CommentSo...sorry for my super LONG and super disjointed comment below (its in several parts) but if you are going to read it, please start from the bottom (first comment) and work your way up so as to not misunderstand what I wrote... thanks :)
The Army is a JOB. None of our husbands are drafted. Neither are you. You chose it. Live with it. Stop going on and on about it. And please don't take this negatively. I did like your article and I could identify and I do appreciate you just as I appreciate anyone going through any sort of struggle. As I said, this is just my opinion.
there are a lot of total shmucks in the Army, sorry. If you really have any experience with the military you won't deny it. So anyway..."The Truth," in my opinion (and it's just my opinion), was just trying to say that you are sort of pushing this romantic idealized view of what it means to be an Army wife when in reality, it really just means one of two things: you're either a normal woman with her normal husband and a normal life, or you're just all by yourself and nothing's really any different except maybe you struggle like any person who's lost someone they love or had to raise a kid alone. As an Army wife, I'd like to see Army wives stop posting these blogs with articles and comments that would make you think they have some sort of special status on their shoulder. I don't see people stopping to thank hard working single parents for turning children into good adults. So Army wives shouldn't be expecting their own situation to be anything particularly special either. The Arm
He's a young man from a low-middle class background who wanted to be independent and joined the military to pay for school so he could move his family a little further up the food chain. Along the way, he realized he loves his friends, his unit, and the rigorous and challenging lifestyle. So, when you ask me what it means to be an Army Wife, it has nothing to do with all this "Army Strong!" and "support my country" stuff. I mean, yeah I am an American, but being an Army wife has made me far less patriotic now than I ever was before. Being an Army wife IS about tangibles. It means walking into an empty house, marking off another empty slot on the calender, having no one to call when you're on the side of the highway with a flat tire. Yeah, sure, I'm proud. But I'm proud of my husband's personal strength, the strength he'd still carry even if he was a plumber. I mean, the Army doesn't make these guys, our husbands, special. They make the Army what it is and, lets not forget, the
I'm almost afraid to even start this because you actually wrote a whole article in response to the "honey-glazed propaganda" comment, BUT I kind of have to respond. As an Army wife, as a woman sitting here waiting for her husband's deployment to please please be over, and so on...I think you didn't understand what this person meant. And certainly his/her attitude didn't help. But I must say I am so incredibly sick of people thanking me for my husband's service, telling me how strong I must be, and assuming that I am a supporter of this war, of the Army, of the country, whatever. YES, I support our troops. YES, I support our country. NO, I do not support this war, but YES I see the reasons why (and why not) my husband is supposedly there. I would like to say that my husband is far from patriotic. He's far from any sort of flag-waving, all-American good ol' boy out there defending the flag (has anyone realized that soldiers are essentially kids who need money??). He just isn't.
It's hard for me to understand all of this right now. I definetly grasp it all because my man has been gone for three months now and I leave in five days to be in his arms and proudly watch him graduate. Us army wives, fiances and girlfriends understand that it takes a certain man to be a soldier and we quickly realize he had always been a soldier. I have never imagined marrying somebody who wanted to be a soldier because I didn't understand why you would put your life in danger so carelessly. Then I understood that it was a completely selfLESS act and the most beautiful thing I have ever seen a human being commit to. Do I agree with the war in Iraq? Not entirely. Do I think we should pull troops out? I think it's very risky. But would I ever stop loving my husband a mile to a million miles away? NEVER!! It's VERY unfortunate that we have to keep loving our husbands even though they are so far away for so long. Some women marry for the money and the benefits, but some women marry becau
First of...I disagree with "truth" and even more so disagree with "Bob"....Don't worry about what they say, it isn't like that. They don't know. Some people have no respect for the army and what they are doing.. But anyways..Congrats on all that, it was a great article. I'm glad to see someone going through things I just have and coming out positive. My hubby and I can share one of the same stories.. but i'll keep it shorter.. No one stood by us up until a week before the wedding.. We married June 12th, he left for germany june 14th. I was supposed to be going there in about a week. But being an army wife, I never get my hopes up and get too exscited when I hear good news, like the news that we finished our command sponsorship. And I guess now it's a good thing I didnt or the events to come and present events would be alot harder on me. As of right now he is sitting in Kuwait. And will be deploying tomorrrow for Iraq... I miss him alot. But I know he is doing a great thing for me and
Good for you. I'ce been an Amry wife for 11 years now. Military life is hard but it is also rewarding. You are always going to find haters. People hate the military because they really don't understand what are soldiers are doing. People want their freedom and if your husband wasn't there to supply it they'd be up in arms. Rather than picking on you I think a Thank you would suffice. I'll tell you my husband is a Ranger and he's been deployed 8 times. We have two kids and I have no problem "juggling" everything. You'll be okay because it sounds like you've got a good man.
im just throwing it out there that "The Truth" is retarded.... and "Bob is an fing Idiot..... they should probably be deported to another country since they obviously have no idea what this country stands for and are cowards themselves because they could never stand up to the challenge of being either a spouse or in the service at all.... Maybe they should study a little history of our country before they open their dumb mouths...
On another note. I love you honey and this was an amazing article. Our hubbys and all the men and women serving are so brave and without them our country would be lost. I stand by my man, and by the rest of Americas soldiers 100% and with so much pride and so much faith. I think that saying we only support until we have lost a loved one and then death is the only tangible thing we can point out after this war is ignorant. Having just lost a soldier I still believe in our Mission and still support our soldiers. You can NOT say you support the soldiers and n
Life being a military girlfriend, finance, or wife is very difficult. We must be very secure in who we are and able to very independent. I love your letter. It was inspiring. My marine is doing a recruiting billet right now. I hardly see him. My step kids have been really testing me, but I love them. Its hard on all of us, but the moment he steps through that door we give each other a hug...every day... and a kiss. He holds me everynight. He wraps his legs around mine. I know their will be a time when I won't have that either. I will have to be very strong and keep his love for me, deep in my heart. I gave up everything to be with my Marine. From Los Angeles night life, to corn fields in Indiana. :-) I love him and wouldn't change anything. I look forward to our lives together. I couldnt' imagine being with anyone else. I am proud of him and for the freedom men/women like him have bestowed on all of us.