What Men Really Want for Valentine's Day

Every year women fawn over and fantasize about what their significant other is going to do for her on February 14th. Everyone knows it's out with the old and in with the new store decorations once the first day of the year pops up. The silver, green and gold decorations are replaced with pinks, whites and red. Trees and ornaments are replaced with boxes of candy and teddy bears. Valentine's Day may well be some big marketing scheme in the name of love, but for what it's worth, it's had women swept up for decades.

What about the men? Historically, society has focused on the women on Valentine's Day and many men seemed okay with it.

Joe, husband of 30 years, shares his sentiments. "I think most men from my era feel that Valentines Day is a ladies' day in that it is associated with all the symbols: red hearts, flowers, cupid, etc., of love. It is a time for flowers, nice dinners, sexy night gowns, and anything else that will hopefully show her your "loving" side. All we wanted in return was to enjoy ourselves with the special lady."

Has that changed? Do men desire to be celebrated on Valentine's Day or is it little more than 24 hours of anxiety for husbands, lovers and boyfriends?

Charon, 31 and living in New York City says "Men don't care about Valentine's Day. It's a marketing ploy for women's attention."

However, in a society where many men have gone metrosexual and enjoy shopping for the latest Kenneth Cole or Mezlan shoes just as much as women enjoy their Blaniks and Jimmy Choos, it isn't a stretch to imagine that some men out there are expecting reciprocity on the American self proclaimed day of love. Some of today's women are in tune and try to break out something exciting for their mate.

Twenty-nine year old, Atlanta native Brandt believes that women may have good intentions when it comes to pleasing their men on this holiday. "I think women think they are doing what their man wants, but they really don't know."

The easy part for women is that most men will probably fall into one of four categories when it comes to Valentine's Day. The difficult task is to find out just what type of guy Cupid has paired her up with.

Guy# 1
Give Me Gratitude
There are men out there who really believe that life is best when you keep it simple. Giving gratitude is about making a man feel special. A good woman will do that everyday however, Valentine's Day is another chance to roll out the red carpet for a significant other.

Brandt, agrees, and believes the holiday should work both ways. "We go out of our way to try to make sure that specific day is extra special. Instead, turn the tables. Let the female take me out. Draw me a bath with music and candlelight. Buy some flowers and candy."

Buying a boyfriend his favorite brand of cognac, a card or even some flowers will be welcomed by the man who just wants to know you thought of him on Valentine's Day.

When thinking about showing appreciation, remember, the fastest way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Either whip out the pots and pans or whip out the credit card and get your husband or mate something they love to eat. Whether that's wings with hot sauce or sushi with soy sauce, make it happen. Home cooked meals are a favorite of many men. It eliminates getting dressed up and lets him feel like a king in his own castle. Some guys are fans of desserts, so calling up grandma for the pecan pie recipe may do the trick.

Hudson, entrepreneur and father, does caution against public displays of affection, better known as PDAs. He doesn't want to be at a restaurant and have a waiter come over with dessert and violinists. "Now don't do it in public, but you can give me a special gift at home when I least expect it." There are subtle ways to get the point across. Even the man who is the Grinch of Valentine's Day might light up with a phone call or text to let him know he's thought of, amidst the frenzy of flowers and candy flowing through to women in his office that day.

Tips for Giving Gratitude and Making him Feel Special
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Pick up a sexy or cute card.
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Pick up his favorite candy bar and leave it on the counter.
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Get his car washed
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Make a card with the kids

Tips for Giving Him Good Eats
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Find out his favorite meal and cook it
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Take him to his favorite restaurant
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Bake his favorite pie, cake or cookies (or order it, just be careful trying to pass of the store bought treat as your own!)

Guy# 2
Give Me the Gift
Some men want the gift and they have a list of pre-approved items to choose from. From the Nintendo Wii that IT consultant Raymond would like from his lady to the cologne that busy online account manager John says his wife should know to pick up. Gifts don't have to be expensive. Some men are movie buffs, and a copy of American Gangster or the latest anime feature may suffice. The most important trick is knowing what your man wants or needs. Myron Burney says, "I tell my wife, 'Get me something I can use!' Please no candy or flowers!" Being a tech guy, Myron likes gadgets and all things electronic in his little red Valentine's Day bags.

Joe has a different take on gift giving. "After years of marriage and many dozens of roses, Valentines has become mostly a day for "us" to share together. We usually try to plan a special outing or short trip I still give and receive the Valentine card with special words that we often think but don't say to each other. Regarding a gift I am usually asked what I would like and I usually say, "Anything is fine."

Good Gifts for Guys
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Luxe Accessories - Watches, Wallets, Ties to keep him sharp at work.
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Cologne - Get his favorite, not what you like on some other man!
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Any gaming system - Nintendo Wii and Playstation are tops
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Gadgets - iPhones, iPods, Digital Camera
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Sporting Goods - Golf equipment, Weights

Guy# 3
Give Me a Getaway
Now this could be a boys' night out to watch the big game, have a drink, or, truth be told, go to the strip club. Ultimately, some men just want that free night to do whatever it is they like to do.

For Chandler, husband of 4 years, whose wife just recently had a baby girl, it means serenity. "The married man wants peace but may not be able to achieve it. If he has the time off from work and the ends, he will do Valentine's Day things to make his wife happy, which will in turn make him happy. Happy wife equals potentially happy husband. If he cannot provide it for one reason or another, and his wife in fact cares about Valentine's Day, he may be doomed to a day of unhappiness." For Chandler, the peace in his home on and after Valentine's Day may give him getaway time to enjoy his yet untouched Xbox 360.

For other fellows it may be a day to go hunting, hang out at the basketball courts all day or a chance to watch ESPN Classic on the night that his girlfriend usually has him watching American Idol. For the woman who really wants to cake her man, a spa that caters to gentlemen like Nickel Spa for Men in New York or the Grooming Lounge in DC, could put a smile on his face. If money isn't an object, pick up the tab on golf trip or send a closet poker player on an all expense paid trip to Vegas, just don't stake him!

Gifts of Freedom
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Volunteer to be the taxi/designated driver on guys night out
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Send him on an all expense paid trip, even if it's just to the local sports bar.
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Cancel "date night" and tell him to spend the time doing whatever he'd like.
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Take the kids out and give him a day of peace and quiet at home.

Guy# 4
Give Him Romance
This one should come as no surprise. Doctors agree that men think about it a dozen times a day, all day long. Is it any wonder that all some men want for Valentine's Day is a little action? They'd love it if their woman would pick up a sexy set from Victoria's Secret or some would be even more pleased with if their wife or girlfriend answered the door wearing nothing at all. This is much appreciated when Valentine's Day falls during the middle of the work week. Most men agree spicing up the sex life in honor of what most of them believe is a man made holiday, makes it worth celebrating. The good thing about giving it up is most men will enjoy this gift, even when paired with a good meal, the gift of a getaway or the latest gadget on the shelves.

Tips for Giving it Up
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Fulfill a sexual fantasy.
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Buy some sensual lingerie for you and a pair of Armani briefs for him.
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Book a one night stay at a luxury hotel or motel - Whatever he's into!
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Pleasure coupons - Find them in the store or better yet, make them yourself!

When it comes to answering "What would cupid do for a man on Valentine's Day?" The answer is: It all depends on that man.

Mark, newly married thrity-something, feels like all men share his sentiment.

"Seriously, if you "love" somebody are you only supposed to express it on V-day??? Makes no sense to me. It creates a false sense of expectations and people get angry if those expectations aren't met, so what MEN want is NOT having to deal with those artificial expectations in the first place."

Mark is right. Some men want it simple, but there are those men who want a woman to pull out all the stops to make them feel special.

With a hint of humorous hypocrisy "The new Jordan's come out February 16th. THAT is a GREAT gift." Mark concludes.

In the end, things would probably be easier if men and women would listen to hip hop legend Outkast's song, "Happy Valentine's Day," and treat everyday like February 14th.