What Men Say when They Talk About the Women in Their Lives

I know my husband talks about me to the guys at work. I know that, just by what he says when he comes home. Case in point: We were about to be late for our son's track meet and I was driving. He tells me I am going too fast. I like to call it quick maneuvering. Whatever..He always back-seat drives, no matter what. It's just particularly irritating when I am trying to get somewhere... Which is all the time!

Anyway, the next day he tells his co-workers (all male) about our little exchange in the car. And they immediately tell him, "You should never criticize her driving." Like he has somehow broken a cardinal rule. As if it's akin to telling me I look fat! So he comes home with this look on his face like, "Now, I've finally figured her out." Like that's it, and we've been married for 17 years! I think these guys sit around at lunch and tell each other ways to avoid getting in trouble with their wives.

While we commiserate about our husbands' inability ability to communicate, they sit around communicating really well to each other, but are tongue-tied once they get home. It's like this secret club that we don't know about, just so they can feel better when they make us mad. Either that, or they need a committee to tell each other that yes, you are right. She is dead wrong.

For instance, I was anxiously awaiting the arrival of my tablet computer (a cheaper version of the Ipad.) But when I got it, I had such trouble using it, I gave up and gave it to him. I don't know, I guess I was expecting some kind of a miniature lap top or something. I didn't really have a clue what a tablet was. My husband, the techie, thought I gave up too soon. And of course at work, the guys chimed in. "Of course it's not a lap top. What did she expect?" Oh, I don't know, not to have the letters change direction every time I move the thing. Point is, they look at things from a black-and-white point of view. Where women have a lot of shades of gray.

Maybe they need each other like we need girl talk. Only it's different. And I guess I should feel happy that I am worth talking about at all! And really, do we want a man who understands everything we are thinking all the time? Where's the mystery? And if they are so touchy feely 24-7, they wouldn't surprise us so much when, once in a while, they do "get it." Which, after years of marriage, happens more and more, thankfully.