What Mom Wants for Mother's Day

Do you ever wish that you could see inside your Mom's head and heart and ask what she wants most of all for Mother's Day? By no means do I intend to question the importance of the holiday or attest to its value on a national level or from a social perspective. If you are one of those who bah-humbugs the holiday as a huge greeting card revenue-generator, so be it. As a mother, however, I will indulge in the assumption that the holiday has significance for many of us. With that basis, I can provide a few observations as to what is important and what is probably not.

If you have a mother who represents all that is right and good about parenting, telling her so is the single most important requirement of this holiday. No present, celebration, card or monument erected to her will mean anywhere near as much. There is no "right" way to communicate this as long as it is done.

Many years ago I was given the opportunity to create a Mother's Day card for my own mother. I believe that it was a kindergarten project that used a sappy little poem of unknown origin that I wrote on two construction paper circles, sealed with red yarn and drowned in cheap cologne. At five, I had no ability to understand its significance. But years later it was still carefully stored with her most valued possessions. Decades later, my mother is of blessed memory but I still have it, cologne scene gone, printing faded, yarn slightly unraveled. Its value to me is immeasurable.

If you are in any way capable of creating a token of your love for your mother, I can tell you with great certainty that the home-made versions are the most precious. Lacking the skills and confidence to create something, use this as an opportunity to find the right card and tell your mom exactly what she means to you. Don't stop with "I love you." If I may recommend, tell her why.

This is not to discount the traditions of brunch, breakfast, lunch, dinner or a picnic in the nearest park. All of those are exceptional and to be cherished. But I know as a mother that some of the most memorable celebration efforts have nothing to do with money. These are often by products of the ages of our children - very often the gift needs to be symbolic rather than extravagant, frequently making it all the more cherished.

We don't need more jewelry, cologne or dish towels. We do need more thank yous, acknowledgment of sacrifices, appreciation and special treasured time. It is the rare mother, in my life's journey, who measures the significance of a gift by its dollars spent. Create something and it will be treasured. Design something - whether it be a day as a family or a cardboard jewelry box - and your mom will look at it and be touched all the days of her life. Write a poem and she will keep it with her longer than her most valuable jewelry.

You may make a case for this being a commercial, greeting-card holiday that generates huge profits for card companies and restaurants that serve brunch. Beyond that, mothers very often have contributed substantially to your lives during the remaining 364 days for all of the years since your birth. That includes soccer games, ear infections, saxophone recitals, first dates, driving lessons and all of the spaces between them.

Instead of discounting the holiday, celebrate and honor the person who gave birth to you. Sincere is good. Flamboyant is not. Take a moment to say thank you, by words or by gift. I consider myself fortunate to have loved and been loved by the best of mother role models. What Mom Wants for Mother's Day

Do you ever wish that you could see inside your mom's head and heart and ask what she wants most of all for Mother's Day? By no means do I intend to question the importance of the holiday or attest to its value on a national level or from a social perspective. If you are one of those who bah-humbugs the holiday as a huge greeting card revenue-generator, so be it. As a mother, however, I will indulge in the assumption that the holiday has significance for many of us. With that basis, I can provide a few observations as to what is important and what is probably not.

If you have a mother who represents all that is right and good about parenting, telling her so is the single most important requirement of this holiday. No present, celebration, card or monument erected of her will mean anywhere near as much. There is no "right" way to communicate this as long as it is done.

Many years ago I was given the opportunity to create a Mother's Day card for my own mother. I believe that it was a kindergarten project that used a sappy little poem of unknown origin that I wrote on two construction paper circles, sealed with red yarn and drowned in cheap cologne. At five, I had no idea of its significance. But years later it was still carefully stored with her most valued possessions. I still have it, cologne scene gone, printing faded, yarn slightly unraveled. Its value to me is immeasurable.

If you are in any way capable of creating a token of your love for your mother, I can tell you with great certainty that the home-made versions are the most precious. Lacking the skills and confidence to create something, use this as an opportunity to find the right card and tell your mom exactly what she means to you. Don't stop with "I love you." If I may recommend, tell her why.

This is not to discount the traditions of brunch, breakfast, lunch, dinner or a picnic in the nearest park. All of those are exceptional and to be cherished. But I know as a mother that some of the most memorable celebration efforts have nothing to do with money. These are often by products of the ages of our children - very often the gift needs to be symbolic rather than extravagant, frequently making it all the more precious.

We don't need more jewelry, cologne or dish towels. We do need more thank yous, acknowledgement of sacrifices, appreciation and special treasured time. It is the rare mother, in my life's journey, who measures the significance of a gift by its dollars spent. Create something and it will be cherished. Design something - whether it be a day as a family or a cardboard jewelry box - and your mom will look at it and be touched all the days of her life. Write a poem and she will keep it with her most valued possessions.

You may make a case for this being a commercial, greeting-card holiday that generates huge profits for card companies and restaurants that serve brunch. Beyond that, mothers very often have contributed substantially to your lives during the remaining 364 days for all of the years since your birth. That includes soccer games, ear infections, saxophone recitals, first dates, driving lessons and all of the spaces between them.

Instead of discounting the holiday, celebrate and honor the person who gave birth to you. Sincere is good. Flamboyant is not. Take a moment to say thank you, by words or by gift.

I was most fortunate to have loved and been loved by the ultimate mother role model and have been the happy recipient of many Mother's Day celebrations. I wouldn't trade any aspect of any of them for anything at any time. Give your mother that level of caring and respect and both of you will be enhanced and expanded by it. I promise.