What Moms Really Want on Mother's Day: Gift Ideas

As Mother's Day approaches I am reminded of the biggest fight in my 10 year marriage. I got a candle for Mother's Day. Now, maybe this doesn't sound earth shattering, but to me, it was totally disrespectful for 3 reasons. And looking at these reasons, it becomes clear what you shouldn't do for Mother's Day. So, before we look at the things women really want, let's make sure your gift buying doesn't cause a fight. Then, be sure to read on for great under $15 gift ideas, over $15 (including links to on-line purchases)...and ways to incorporate the kids.

Back to the candle...first, the candle was cheap. Now, cheap is fine and I understood because we didn't have much money at the time, but it wasn't thoughtful. Cheap and thoughtlessness are a bad combination because it translates the message, "I really don't care." And whether a mom says it or not, being a mother is probably the single most genuine point of pride in her life. It matters! So be sure your gift is honoring for all that she does. And if it is cheap, be sure to overcompensate with thoughtfulness.

Second, my husband purchased the candle on Mother's Day. Lack of planning contributed to me feeling like the day was totally unimportant to him. He basically said, "You being a mother is not worth the effort of making it a priority." Men, Mother's Day is a standing holiday. And thanks to TV, radio and every other venue of advertising, it is not realistic to say you didn't see it coming. Last minute extravagance also sends the same message. Where, planning something special in advance depicts loving loads of a better message. It says, "You are important and worth my time and energy."

Last, he didn't incorporate the children in the candle purchase or in any way. This was problematic because he taught them nothing about honoring me. Children learn by example. In addition, my older two children made me things and I fawned over them but they felt bad that they didn't "get" me more. So, he made my kids feel bad because they wanted the day to be special...and even at 9 and 11, they knew the candle wasn't enough to send the message, "You are a great, mom and I love you SO much!"

Key lessons to heed in gift giving:

1. If you are on a budget, be thoughtful.
2. Plan in advance.
3. Incorporate the Kids

So, what gifts translate this best? Let's start with gifts under $15.

Starbucks Personalized Mug
Starbucks sells a mug with a pen that children can draw on it or write a message to mom to personalize the gift. After the art is complete it goes in the oven for a few minutes and is becomes washable without ruin. IT is a great gift for a coffee lover and brings the kids into the contribution.

Smithsonian Institute Online
Bracelets are always good and can be picked up fairly cheap. Women do love jewelry and something to show their friends. But you don't have to go to a jewelry store. In fact, many clothing stores and gift shops have great pieces of jewelry that women love. Art galleries also sell unique pieces that your wife would be proud of. I highly recommend the Smithsonian Institute Gift Shop (shop on line: http://www.smithsonianstore.com/home.jsp ). To incorporate the kids, pick two or three of your favorites then ask them, "Which would you choose?" Then, let them wrap the gift, pick the bow and definitely make the card.

Seriously Thoughtful, Totally Cheap Gift Box
Women love jewelry boxes, or something small to keep trinkets in (rings, earrings etc.) If you purchase a little box, wooden, metal or glass (even plastic or cardboard which can be found in shapes of hearts at Wal-Mart) have the kids cut up a piece of paper to fold and put inside. On the pieces of paper, everyone write things they love about mom. Men can really have fun with this, too - making it funny or sexy. And kids will get into the craft aspect of this gift.

Over $15 Dollar Gifts Mom Will Love

- Franklin Covey sells really thoughtful things for working moms
http://store.franklinplanner.com/store/index.jsp
- Contribution to a craft they love (or things to organize their craft supplies)
- A unique change purse or wallet
- Gift certificate for manicure/pedicure
- Monogrammed Beach Bag and matching flip flops
- Purse spray perfume http://www2.victoriassecret.com/landing/?cgnbr=OSBAFZZZZZZ
- Create a bag of "de-stressing" items (bubble bath or rose petals, jasmine pillow spray, book etc)
- Airline tickets for a weekend getaway sometime in the future (something to look forward to!)

Ideas for Incorporate the Kids
Remember, incorporating the kids is a critical part of mother's day. It will teach them how to value their mother and honor her. In addition, kids feel great about giving gifts because they love getting them so much! It is a language they connect with: presents! In addition, celebrating is fun and we should seize opportunities to celebrate life whenever we can, with our children. Here are some great ways to incorporate the kids:

- Let them pick the wrapping paper and wrap the gift
- Let them pick the bow or color scheme
- Have them make the card and attach it to the gift purchased
- Wake them early and let them help make a great breakfast
- Let them hide the gift somewhere only mom will find it
- Have them color the driveway with chalk messages to mom
- Let them write with shoe polish on her car window
- Have them cut out paper the shape of a shoe and place them about the house, leading mom to the gift

In summary, if you value the contributions of the mother of your children, Mother's Day is the day to show it! Get thoughtful or creative if you are on a budget. Surprise her with planning ahead. And make the kids the focal point of the prep. If you do that, it won't matter what's in the package, you'll make her day! Good luck, Dad.