What No One Tells You About Having a Baby! Dad's Listen Up!

Thinking back to when my wife was about to have the baby, I thought I was ready...what I didn't realize is how much I wasn't ready for. I heard about all the joys of parenthood, but there are a few warnings that I never received that would have been very helpful. I want to give all parents, especially new Dad's, the top things to be ready for when the baby comes.

1) Sleep is a thing of the past - Getting a full night sleep is no longer an expectation, it's a gift. Every night I sleep through the night, I feel like I just won the lottery. My son wakes up at 6am like clockwork, which wouldn't be so bad, if he also didn't wake up at 2am, 3am, and 4am. Even when he does sleep through the night, I can't say that I ever feel great in the morning. During the first year or so, he's waking up every couple hours to eat. Luckily for me, my son breast fed so it was worse on my wife than me, but that doesn't mean I don't hear him cry every 2 hours. As he has gotten older, he wakes up because he's too hot, too cold, rolled out of bed, lost his teddy bear, is thirsty, or my favorite excuse of why he got out of bed, was wondering if mommy and daddy were sleeping. I asked my mom if it ever gets better and she told me "once you moved out." So, here's to another 16 years of not sleeping soundly.

2) The poop flies farther than you think - I know this sounds disgusting and it kind of is, but this is something I definitely wasn't ready for. During the first few months, I couldn't tell you the number of times I had to clean the changing table because of the projectile poop. It was like it was fired out of a canon. I was always warned about boys peeing all over the place, but no one ever told me that he could fire out the other end a 2 feet. This is no joke and no exaggeration! After a little while, I wasn't worried about the pee, I had to learn to use the diaper like a backstop. I also now know why Pampers sells their diapers in boxes of 250. I could swear there were days where we would go through like 20-30 diapers. As soon as we would put one on, he would go again. I don't know how it's possible for a kid that small, to poop so much.

3) I can stand the smell of my child's diapers, not other child's diapers - I also joked around and said I would never change a diaper. Of course that changed the first night after my wife had the baby and she was sleeping and I had to change the dreaded "black tar" diaper. As a side note, you better bring an ice scraper to get that first diaper or two changed because that stuff is nasty and doesn't come off easy. What I did realize though that even as my son got older, I never gagged at the smell of his diapers. It was funnier than anything when he had a really smelly one. I thought for sure that the sight and smell of it would make me gag before I was a father. Now, it's not a big deal. BUT, the other people's kids on the other hand is a different story. The first diaper I changed of another baby was in our church nursery. It was my wife and my week to cover, so while you are in there you are responsible for changing any dirty diapers. I didn't think it would be a big deal because I had been changing my son's diapers for months now and was never grossed out. Let me tell you, as soon as I got a whiff, I began dry heaving and feeling light headed. It was the grossest thing I had ever smelled. My eyes watered over and I couldn't breath. After changing it, I felt like I needed a shower and a bath. To this day, I refuse to change any other baby's diaper.

4) What's mine is yours and what's yours is yours - We live in a world where people tell you to look out for yourself and do what will make you happy. Once your child comes, that all changes. You are now the sole (you and your spouse) provider for this baby. I will admit that I was and still can be a pretty selfish person. As soon as my son came, that all changed. I happily will give up everything for him, but sometimes it can be a little difficult. My son on the other hand hasn't learned the idea of sharing...obviously. So, when he wants to play with me, we play and if he wants self play time, he can have self play time. Especially during the first 6 months or so, your main goal is to keep your child happy. If he/she is not crying, it's a lot easier than if they are. There is no rationalizing with a 6 month old like I have seen some parents try to do. If holding your keys and shaking them, makes them happy, give them the dang keys. It's not worth the argument.

5) Nothing works for Every Child, but you have to do something - Everyone has advice. Everyone knows better. Especially, people that have never had kids. You will get looks in public like you are the worst parent ever because your child is crying, but what they don't realize is they are crying because you wouldn't buy them the 10 foot big Panda bear. Or people will make comments and disagree with your beliefs as a parent, but then you see their child having a bigger mental breakdown. The biggest thing that you need to do is sit down with your spouse and your spouse only and come up with an agreed plan on how to raise your child - things like nap schedules, eating habits, discipline, and every other decision on how to raise your child needs to be an agreement between you and your spouse. Not what your parents think or how your brother or sister did it, or how the neighbor did it. This is your child and you will have to live with the consequences. The most important thing is to develop that consistent front with your partner. My wife and I have had many of discussions on how to handle certain situations like how to handle bedtime and whether to spank or not. And we don't always see eye to eye, but once we discuss and come to an agreement, we both will hold firm to that agreement, otherwise it won't work. I know for a fact that not everyone agrees how we raise our son, but my wife and I feel that we are doing what is best for him in our eyes and that is all we can do.

6) Your child will take on your personality - I know the books all say it and people warn not to say 4-letter words around your child because they will repeat it, but my son has turned into a mini-me. His humor is exactly like mine, to the dismay of my wife (oddly enough, my wife thinks my son is hilarious, but no longer thinks I'm funny). Everything I do, he will mimic at some point. I truly see why the professionals say your child will learn how to treat the opposite sex from you. I like to think that my son is so loving because of how loving our household is. Just know, your child will become a splitting image of you, so make sure it's an image you like to look at.

7) My son has brought more joy than ever imaginable - Through all the difficulties of raising a child, one thing remains constant. He is one of the best things to ever happen to me. My wife and my son are most important people in my life and they are the reason for my happiness. Everyday, my son says or does something hilarious. Last night, in his attempt to get out of going to bed, yelled downstairs "I'm stuck, daddy....help me." When I went upstairs, there he was standing at the top of the stairs..."Daddy, I'm stuck" he said in the saddest voice. His had was underneath his shirt, not stuck at all. This might not be funny to anyone else and that is okay. It's just one of the many things that makes fatherhood so enjoyable. I don't know how anyone would not enjoy fatherhood. I love every moment with my son. And to think, my wife was worried because she didn't think I had a big connection with my son while she was pregnant.

There are so many more things I could talk about and probably will at some point. But these are a few of the main things that I never realized before fatherhood. One last thing, I appreciate my mom and dad so much more now that I am a father. It also makes me a little sad knowing that my son will never fully understand nor appreciate how much I love him until he has a family. So, mom and dad, thank you and I love you.