What No One Tells You About Sex During Pregnancy

It's common knowledge that sex during pregnancy is different, but few people really know how until they experience it. When I was pregnant for the first time, I experienced sexual side effects that I'd never even known were possible. Sex during pregnancy is completely safe, even in the third trimester, except for certain risk situations such as a mother who is threatening to go into labor prematurely or has an incompetent cervix. It is, however, different from sex before pregnancy. Every woman is affected differently with every individual pregnancy. There are many things that you may or may not experience. Be prepared!

First off, your sex drive may change. It may be much stronger and more active than before or lessened. It may go into overdrive or disappear altogether. It may go back and forth, and the changes may last for a few days, a few weeks, or even a few months. In the beginning you're likely to be having less sex because of fatigue and nausea, but this isn't always true. Some women experience no change in their sex drive whatsoever. In my first pregnancy, I had no sex drive in the early weeks, and then I couldn't get enough! With this one, I had a great sex drive early on, but as the pregnancy progressed, I found myself losing all interest in sex.

I have no remedy for an overactive sex drive--just take it easy on your partner! If you're having trouble finding interest in sex, you're going to have to find creative new ways to stimulate your sex drive. You may have to work to become aroused, and that's just fine! This is a great time to experiment. Try something new with your partner, like talking dirty, watching porn, or even discussing (and then trying!) a new position. Fantasizing may also help you arouse yourself. If your sex drive is just gone, start fantasizing early in the day--and think about it throughout the day. By the evening, you should be ready to go. Hopefully your partner can help you become around, but it can be a lot more difficult. He or she will have to try new ways of arousing you while you are pregnant. It may take time, but your partner will develop a whole new bag of tricks that will outlast the pregnancy!

At some point during the pregnancy you will have to pee while having sex. You'll be quite enjoying it, and then it'll hit you: you have to pee. At first you will try to ignore it, but then the drive will become overpowering. You may even start to feel a little pain. You will have to go relieve yourself. Prolonging it will just bring you discomfort. And you definitely don't want to pee in the bed! If you're lucky, you have a partner who can wait while you go, and you'll be able to resume! Having sex while pregnant takes a little planning sometimes.

You should always go potty before having sex while pregnant. That can help prevent this tragedy from happening to you. During my first pregnancy, I experienced this in my later weeks, but with this pregnancy, it started very early on. Even if I went potty first, it was like all the liquid I drank throughout the day decided to pool into my bladder while I was with my husband! This is one of the most annoying things that can happen when you have sex during pregnancy.

You may experience some dryness during pregnancy. Some women have a lot of discharge during pregnancy and are constantly wet, and some women dry up. Some women will be wet until they are ready to have sex, and then suddenly they dry up! It's different for everyone. I have experienced dryness with both of my pregnancies. Sex is very uncomfortable without lubrication. And it's more difficult. Sex during pregnancy doesn't have to be uncomfortable because of this, though.

If your partner is lucky enough to still have his foreskin, that should provide some lubrication. It won't completely make up for it though. There are a lot of ways to lubricate. Some people use saliva, but I don't recommend it. K-Y makes a lot of personal lubricants now that can be purchased in any grocery store. I recommend their warming lubricant. It really spices things up!

Did you know that women can become engorged, just like men? When you're aroused, blood flow to the genitals is increased. For men, this results in erection (duh). In women, it is usually not as noticeable besides a change in coloring. Some women do experience engorgement all of the time, but this is rare. During pregnancy, however, you are far more likely to experience this. More blood is flowing through your veins when you are pregnant, so more is directed down below. Parts of your...ahem...sacred lotus flower...may swell before, during, or after sex. This can make it much more enjoyable to the man, for it is a tighter fit. Some women enjoy this as well. However, for me, it was just painful.

There is no way to prevent this from happening, aside from maybe taking some Tylenol beforehand. It may or may not happen to you. If it does, I recommend soaking in a nice warm bath. Applying ice may provide relief as well. Some people may prefer a cool bath instead, as they may have a burning sensation. Just do whatever helps. Do not apply any topical creams; it will not help, and it may make it worse. This may be one of the weirdest things I experienced when having sex during pregnancy, but I found ways to get relief.

You may want or be able to have sex for longer or shorter periods of time. You may also be interested in completely different sexual activities. Remember, your sex drive during pregnancy changes. That affects more than just how often or easily you become aroused. You may find yourself fantasizing about totally new things. Don't feel guilty; it is very normal. Your hormones are running amuck; blame them! It's okay for sex during pregnancy to be different; just go with it.

Many women find that their breasts are sore during pregnancy. Some can stand only tender touches, and some women want their breasts left completely alone. Convey this to your partner. Give him or her instructions. It is fine to say "Please don't touch; they are very sore!" or "Gently!!" If you don't want him to touch, guide his hands to somewhere he can touch. There are many sensual spots on a woman's body besides her 'privates,' such as the neck and ears. Paying more attention to those other areas can make having sex during pregnant much more enjoyable for a woman with sore breasts.

You may also find that you start leaking colostrum now and again during pregnancy. This is only a minor inconvenience, as you're not likely to stream until your milk comes in after the birth. You can try wearing a sexy bra during sex and having your partner touch only on the outside of the bra. Some people actually find that sexy. To stop the flow, press hard on your nipple; that usually will make the dripping stop. Sex during pregnancy doesn't have to include colostrum!

There's one issue that almost every couple will have: maneuvering in the third trimester. As your belly grows, you may have to try new sexual positions that don't put your belly between you and your partner. Again, be creative. Pregnancy is the perfect time to experiment. You won't have much of a chance for at least six weeks after the baby is born, so get it out of your system now. Don't let the pregnant belly stand in your way! It is possible to have sex even while 9 months pregnant!

It is possible to have great sex during pregnancy. You may experience some new sensations and minor discomforts. You may experience none of these at all! Every woman is different, and so is every pregnancy. Hopefully now that you know the truth you'll be prepared for whatever comes your way. Having sex while pregnant isn't impossible. You can still rock your partner's world, and he can still rock yours. Just be creative and prepared! You can make sex during pregnancy just as fun as at any other time in your life--and maybe even more awesome.