What is Normal?

Normal! Everyone wants to be normal, or at least most people do anyway. But, what is normal and how can a person become normal? Those with social anxiety are afraid of being different because being different has meant that they have very few, if any, friends. They want to have lots of friends and be socially outgoing, just like "everyone" else.

The first thing to know about being normal is that there seem to be two kinds of normal. The first kind is the kind that is created by the mass media. This seems to be the most popular kind of normal and the type of normal that everyone strives to be. The other kind of normal, coined first here in this article, is the kind of normal that exists only in a metaphysical philosophical sense (meaning that it is an abstract concept that can exist anywhere and at any time, but has the qualifier that anything that is done by people in this group is healthy).

The first kind of normal, the normal defined by the popular mass media today, has the largest impact on how people choose to behave, but has the potential to cause a great amount of good or bad. One idea reinforced by the media, which most Americans ascribe to, is to work hard. Generally, this is a good idea so long as people choose to work for a reasonable period of time (work addicts do exist and will work fifty or more hours per week on a regular basis and this is not a good thing). This idea has been strongly reinforced by American media for many years, and it leads to a productive and accomplished society, so it generally seems to be a good idea. However, the mass media also reinforce ideas that are far from the best. Pop culture is a good example. Children are bombarded by images of sexuality from a very young age, and just the general idea of how to live life that is communicated seems to be to drink, party, get sex, and generally not care about anyone but one's self. This is a very destructive idea and causes many problems for those who choose to live that lifestyle. Most people, by their early to mid twenties, have realized that the allure of all the happiness that this lifestyle would bring was really a false promise. Sure, this lifestyle seemed fun for a while, but all the promises of how great it would be were not quite true. This lifestyle seems to be okay for people to explore for a while, but its importance is stressed way to heavily, and most people end up causing more harm than good to themselves and others when they choose to live it.

The problem with the mass media is that it chooses to reinforce behavior that makes big companies big money. The mass media is interested in benefiting itself, while constantly making false promises to the people it pretends to serve. One incredibly powerful technique of the mass media is to push herds of people in one direction, and then those people will harass others who choose not to follow because they are different and not normal, meaning they are not doing what everyone else does, even if what everyone else does is not all that good.

The other type of normal, the metaphysical and abstract normal, is one that only reinforces that what is healthy is normal. This can be construed to become an incredibly complex and very liberal concept, as many different behaviors can be accepted as normal. Many people play videogames as teenagers and later on as young adults, and that is quite normal. That is a good thing, as videogames can be a very healthy release. The problem is that some people become addicted and play way too many hours, neglecting duties at their job, personal care, and family obligations, and this is the point where playing videogames is no longer normal. Another thing that is normal in this sense is the exploration of sex by teenagers. The mass media tends to reinforce promiscuity, and this seems not to be a good way to explore sexuality, as it leads to very many negative effects such as STD's, people getting angry, and just extensive chaos in general. But, healthy dating, like going out with different men and women in groups or alone, is a very good thing and helps one to begin to understand what he or she prefers, speaking in a sexual sense.

So, what does all this elaboration have to do with anxiety and social anxiety? First, in relation to the first kind of normal, that communicated by the mass media, the socially anxious are portrayed as very abnormal. All the people seen on television and in movies are very outgoing, confident, and usually fearless. In fact, it is difficult to recall any images of socially anxious people in the media at all! Since people who are socially more reserved and tentative are rarely seen, and since people watch hours and hours of television every day, the concept of people with social anxiety seems to be that those who are affected by it are very abnormal, different, and should be pushed out to the fringes of society.

Second, in relation to the metaphysical version of normal, social anxiety is an okay thing to have. A certain amount of anxiety in any social situation is pretty normal for anyone to experience, even those who seem to be very confident in social situations. However, the abstract concept of normal, equated to healthy, also means that there is a certain amount of social anxiety that is not good, that only keeps people from doing what it is that they want to do in life. But fortunately, the metaphysical realm allows for solutions to such difficulties, whereas the mass media only present problems without solutions.

One qualifier to this whole idea of normal is that normal can be very relative and defined by the sub-group of mainstream society in which one exists. In some groups, it is reinforced for people to be loud, which is okay, whereas in some groups it is perfectly okay to be much more laid-back and not say much of anything at all. Indeed, normal can be very relative to the people that surround a person, and in some cases, this group can be strong enough to supercede the forces of the mass media, but the results of this, again, are not always good.

In sum, normal is a relative and impossible to specifically define term. For most people, the mass media define what is and is not normal, and besides the consequences shown earlier in this article, there are many other disastrous effects caused by people only interested in money defining what is and is not okay in society. The best definition of normal is to equate the term with healthy, meaning that what a person does seems to lead to positive effects on that person himself and those around him or her. And again, this can vary widely from person to person, and mostly requires personal experience in order to define. In relation to social anxiety, people should remember that a certain amount of anxiety is certainly okay, but, as many know, there is a certain amount of anxiety that holds people back from leading the healthy lives that they want to lead, and this is the anxiety that needs to be removed from their lives in order to lead a "normal" and healthy life.