What NOT to Do After a Breakup

Sure, we've all read the articles and blogs about things to do after your relationship has ended-talking with friends, spending time to reflect, and taking up new hobbies all top the lists, but what about the things that are not such a good idea to do after you've decided to break up with your significant other? These things deserve just as much attention, and avoiding these actions can save you lots of heartache-and embarrassment-in the future.

Don't immediately start dating the first guy/girl that gives you some attention. Just because you want to get back in the swing of things and not spend all your weekends watching movies alone (and stuffing your face with fatty snacks) doesn't mean that you have to start dating someone simply because they find you attractive or give you the time of day. For instance, if this person was 'just a friend' to you while you were in a relationship, you can honestly say that you're not really attracted to this person, and would just be dating them out of desperation. Also, if you jump into a dating situation or relationship too soon, you may repeat some of the same mistakes that you made in your previous relationship, and you may end up alone-again. This isn't fair to you or the new person you're spending time with, so spare everyone the drama and give yourself some time to heal.

Don't let yourself go. In reference to the 'fatty snacks' mentioned in rule #1, be careful to watch out for your health after a breakup. It will be tempting to scarf down doughnuts and pizza to comfort yourself, since your logic will be a little skewed and you'll just want to eat things that taste good. This will make you even more miserable-not only will you be dealing with the pain of a breakup, but you won't be able to fit into your favorite jeans anymore. And, poor eating can become a habit-a habit that can lead to serious health problems. A breakup is the best reason to go to the gym and watch your diet-you can work out all your aggression by running, lifting weights, or kickboxing (especially if you're looking to try something new) and you'll look and feel better in the process. What better way to prepare yourself for dating again?

Don't be afraid to cry. Of course, you don't have to do this in front of anyone, but having a good cry or two is a great way to release your emotions and to take an honest look at your relationship-you'll be surprised at how much clarity you'll get after a healthy bawl. Cry for as long as you need to, and let yourself be angry or sad for a while. This is all part of the healing process, and you'll be harboring resentment and unresolved hurt if you don't deal with your emotions-which is nothing buy poison for future relationships.

Don't overspend. In many cases, guys and girls tend to go out and shop their hurt away after a breakup. Ladies, those Jimmy Choos may look great with that new outfit and $200 haircut, and they may even make you forget about what's-his-name for a while. But your bank statement is on its way-and it won't be pretty. Guys-she may have never been too fond of the idea of you getting that flat-screen, HD entertainment system, but if it was too expensive then, it's probably too expensive now. Impulse spending will only end up hurting you in the long run. While it's ok to buy a little something to make yourself feel better, the stress of figuring out how to come up with the rent (the Jimmy Choos were un-refundable) and the stress of a breakup may lead you to an even bigger breakdown.

Don't tell your friends everything. While you may want to share your experiences with friends and loved ones concerning your breakup, it is best to leave some things to yourself. The time that and your ex shared may have been turbulent at times, but you should own up to your contribution of the relationship's demise as well when speaking with friends. However, every detail of the relationship shouldn't be discussed, especially if you and your ex still plan on being friends. You should respect his or her privacy, and realize that a relationship tale of scandal, fights, and mistrust doesn't make you look all that great, either. We all make mistakes, and there are a million reasons why relationships don't work out, but respect yourself and your ex by keeping some things private.

Don't worry. It gets better with time. Everyone needs a different amount of time to heal. Don't rush yourself into being 'over it'-take the time you need to think about the mistakes you don't want to repeat in future relationships and make peace with your past. Prayer, meditation, journal writing, and just having a good laugh are great ways to help yourself heal, and even though some days will be better than others, you can feel better about things when you stop worrying about whether or not you're healing fast enough.