What NOT to Do in the Brady Street Neighborhood in Milwaukee, WI

Brady Street in Milwaukee has a lot of history of being the 'diverse' section of Milwaukee. In the 60's and 1970's this was the place for musicians, artists and writers to freely express themselves in a friendly environment. In the 80's and 90's it became the area for Milwaukee to place the drug dependent and homeless population.

Now in the year 2009, it has become a mix of migratory yuppies and college aged alcoholics to kick over my garbage cans at 3:00am while shouting profanities at the top of their lungs.

This guide on what not to do is intended for everyone visiting my mediocre neighborhood. Please share these tips with everyone you know to prevent further headaches for the neighbors and surrounding businesses.

Tip #1. If you're planning on visiting a bar, I'm the guy who takes down your license plate and phones it into the police. The cops love me, I get about $50 per tip. On a normal weekend I make about $350 just phoning in your location and license plate number. Maybe next time you won't yell "woo" in public while getting from your car into another bar.

Tip #2. When you think nobody is watching you urinate in public, I'm there with a video camera and dollar signs in my eyes. Now it's one thing to use a public restroom, that's your business. When it can be seen by anyone on the street, however, I consider this public domain and sell the videos to perverted fetish websites. Say Cheese.

Tip #3. Planning on seeing a movie, or maybe do something other than drinking? Good luck, the only other businesses that are open right now is Subway and a Liquor Store. It's bad enough the traffic is horrible, you should go visit another side of town that has actual events and things to do. Brady Street is Milwaukee's most depressing area of town unless you're an alcoholic who likes to pay $8 for a beer to look at ugly people.

Tip #4. Anyone who tries to entice you into visiting the East Side is paid by the bars to suck you in. Your friend Jimmy is not really interested in showing you a cool bar, he wants to collect his free drinks for ruining your life on the east side.

Tip #5. Never come to the Brady Street area. If you have no real business here then you should really just stay home and get drunk in private because I know that's the only reason you're coming down here. There are no fancy restaurants, there's only fancy prices. I know this because I've worked at a few "classy" restaurants around here and they all have the same roaches and dirty dishes you'd come to expect from the north side diners.

In conclusion, save your money for a real experience. I don't know how many people I see crying back to their cars every week. Just get over yourself and realize the grass is not greener over here. I hope this helps you, and if not: just stay away for 1 night, please. I'm trying to sleep.