What Not to Give Your Mom on Mother's Day
Mother's Day Mishaps
Mustache Wax - Even if your mother has a Charlie Chaplin mustache never, ever give her wax to remove it. It's hers and if she wants to get rid of it she knows how to do it. Don't be insulting.
Pot Scrubber - I once received a battery operated pot scrubber as a gift and all I can tell you is this does not make a good Mother's Day gift.
Underwear - Even if your mom's fruit of the looms are getting a little threadbare, giving her a package of plain cotton Hanes is a lousy gift. Instead give her a Victoria's Secret gift card.
Enema Kit - Leave the personal hygiene stuff up to her. Let her buy her own enema kits. These were never intended to be gift items.
Colon Cleanser - This is the same as with an enema kit. Colon cleansers should be purchased by cleansee only. Not only with this embarrass your mother it will probably make her feel like you don't love her enough to buy her a real gift.
Nothing - If you don't buy your mother anything on Mother's Day you are dirt bag and deserve to be slapped. Go buy her a mother's day gift you cheap bastard.
Breath Spray - This can only say one thing about the woman that brought you into this world. Don't say it. Don't even think it. Keep your comments to yourself and don't sniff her breath.
Vacuum Cleaners - If you want to be smacked just try buying your mother a vacuum cleaner for Mother's Day. No mother wants to be reminded of chores awaiting her.
A Gym Membership - If there's one way to hurt your mother's feelings its by making her feel fat. Skip the gym membership and give her chocolate instead. Regardless of her weight.
Anti Wrinkle Cream - Your cruisin' for a bruisin' as my mother used to say. Giving your mother anti wrinkle cream for Mother's Day is bound to make her feel old and she won't appreciate the gift.
Gift Certificate for Weight Watchers - Unless she has specifically asked for this it's not a good idea. See the above mentioned gym membership.
Happy Mother's Day!
Published by Kelly Spies
I'm just a chick with a lot to say about different things. I've been writing for most of my life and aspire to someday be a published novelist as well as content writer. View profile
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- Colon Cleanser is not a good Mother's Day present.
- Don't point out your mother's mustache by buying her hot wax.
- If you buy your mother nothing on Mother's Day you are a louse.
15 Comments
Post a CommentLOL Kelly.
Thanks for the advice Kelly. I'll return the enema kit.
I wish I could offer my mother a therapy session. I could never, ever come out and say it though. Oh well, I vented here.:)
If you are buying your mother an enema, you're much too close to her.
LOL @ cheap bastard. This is funny. And you're right...I wouldn't want any of 'em :)
LMAO!!! I'm relieved I've never given her any of these things. LOL
Very good advice! Too funny.
LOL I definitely do not want any of these for Mother's Day, except maybe the vacuum cleaner - if it came with a maid. ;-)
Dang - now I have to go shopping again. What am I going to do with a year's worth of pot scrubbers?
Following this advice will make for a much happier Mother's Day. What makes this really funny is that you know some people would really buy these for gifts. Hope some of them read this. :)