What NOT to Pack for a Trip to San Francisco

There is always a sure fire way to spot a tourist in San Francisco. They're the ones shivering in their "I Heart San Francisco' or 'Napa Valley is for Lovers' sweatshirts while hanging on for dear life to a cable car.

Now, I know these people are probably seasoned, sophisticated travelers who are not in the habit of supplementing their wardrobes with neon fleece bought from sidewalk vendors. It's just that when they left their hotel rooms that morning, they saw the sun shining, checked the date (July!) and assumed that they wouldn't find themselves later on that afternoon clutching a five dollar cup of tea just to thaw out their hands. And really, if it's 85 degrees, and summertime when you leave your hometown, why in the world would you think of packing your down parka to visit…California?

Mark Twain once wrote that the coldest winter he ever spent was a summer in San Francisco. I would add that in the winter you'll have the cold and the fog. The weather in San Francisco usually hovers between the mid fifties to the low sixties nine months out of the year, which, for people who experience sub freezing temperatures may not seem that bad. But there is something about the combination of the cold, the wind and the fog that can take some getting used to - -you just have to prepare for it.

So, the next time you plan on visiting San Francisco, here's a few things you may as well leave at home.

1. Flip flops. Now, if you're planning to go to other cities, especially LA, or if you want them for kicking around the hotel room, by all means, bring 'em along. But if you think you're going to break out those cute little Haviana's in Union Square…well, think again. The fact is, except for the young areas like the Marina, very few people wear flip flops on the streets. Warmth is a big factor. If you're feet are exposed, you will feel any temperature drops ten fold. And, quite frankly, hygiene is another factor. Several years ago, a tourist wrote to the "Letters to the Editor" page of the newspaper, citing what he saw on the streets of downtown San Francisco as worse than what he had seen in the Third World. I don't think it's that bad, but then, I live here.

2. Tie dyed anything. Unless you are coming from a commune in Oregon, where such things are worn by everyone. Otherwise, you will be mistaken for one of the middle aged people who stop and ask you to take their picture at the corner of Haight and Ashbury. Ditto for long peasant skirts and anything else circa 1968.

3. Stilettos or other uncomfortable shoes. I know, I know, again with the shoes! You will do a lot of walking. But even if you're planning to drive, or catch a cab to your destination, you will still have to walk from the parking lot or down the street to flag down a taxi. There will be hills involved, or sidewalks cracked from the last earthquake, or slick with rain. It will be painful, and embarrassing, when you do a pratfall in front of the people eating at the outdoor tables at Betelnut. Trust me.

4. Shorts. Are you kidding? This is the place where shorts move directly from the window displays to the clearance sections without anyone so much as giving them a once over. Weather has a something to do with it, of course. But San Francisco is a pretty conservative city in terms of people showing a lot of skin, and that's probably more of the reason why.

5. A "fine dining" guidebook. The world-renowned restaurants, you already know about. So when you're looking for someplace to eat, look for the place that has a line out of the door. You won't have to look very far. San Franciscans are unstinting in their choice of where to eat, and very few people will allow a wait to dissuade them. The result is that there are lines forming in nearly every neighborhood for dishes you could theoretically get anywhere else. Burritos. Hamburgers. Pizza. Heck, locals will wait two hours for chicken hash! But think about it this way. The food will be worth it, and you just might meet someone in line that can direct you to where to stand for your next meal.

6. An alarm clock. San Francisco is a town that rolls up it's sidewalks pretty damn early, so you'll have very few temptations to party the night away. Of course, there are always underground clubs, but in terms of after hours venues open to the public? Forget it. The only thing to do at 3am in San Francisco is to go to the 24 hour Starbucks. There you will be joined by a sleep deprived mother under the impression that this is just the place to soothe her colicky baby and a woman tapping listlessly on her laptop. Bored, you'll glance over at what she's writing, a piece entitled, "What NOT to pack for a trip to San Francisco".

Don't forget to bring a warm jacket.