What Not to Say to a Child During a Divorce

What not to say to your kids during a divorce

The separation of parents is a hard time for the children involved. Adults often forget to keep their emotions and thoughts of the other parent to themselves. Divorce is a tough time for everyone, especially the children. Kids are often left behind and in the middle of a divorce. Adults can become so wrapped up in their own ordeal, they do not realize they are hurting their children.

I am a product of divorced parents. Divorce is more common in my generation than it was in my grandmother's time. I was lucky to have parents who did not bad mouth the other parent in front of me.

Here are a few tips to consider to always keep in your thoughts when dealing with a divorce.

Name calling. Heated conversations arise on a frequent basis in the middle of the divorce. In those situations, insulting names to the other parent in the presence of a child does and can happen without you meaning for it to happen. Children will keep these bad names in their memories for a very long time. They may even repeat those words to other adults or even other playmates.

Asking adult questions to the child. A child does not need to know anything specific about the details of the divorce. The best advice is to not speak of the divorce in front of them. All they need to know is mom and dad love them. Adult questions are not appropriate for children to hear.

Blame the other parent. Children often are told from one parent to the next, the other parent is the blame for the breaking up of the family. This shouldn't happen. No child should hear the other parent blaming the other for the ending of the marriage.

Excuses. Some parents have used one excused as to another for why they do not spend enough time with their children. They often blame the other parent or they simply say they were too busy to do so. A child can become hurt over excuses. Do not do it. Period.

Divorce is a confusing and heartbreaking time for the entire family. Adults need to remember they are the adults and kids do not need to worry or deal with grown up issues. It isn't their fault for the separation. A child only needs to know they are loved by both parents and that it isn't their fault.