What One Bachelor Thinks of ABC's the Bachelor/Bachelorette

ABC's The Bachelor or The Bachelorette brings new meaning to speed dating. It takes the dating game to a new level. Is it even possible for someone to find true love in this accelerated format of dating? Obviously, the show points to Trista and Ryan Sutter every season-and understandably so-as it's their only sterling example that it can work. But we could argue that the show was just where these two met, and they succeed despite it, not because of it. However, my review-ending with this season's The Bachelorette-is more a focus on the microcosm of dating interactions, with all of the good examples it provides to critique.

Yes, I watch The Bachelor and The Bachelorette

Okay, so you still can't get over the fact that a guy would even watch this show. I feel like that Seinfeld episode where Jerry is given a lie detector test that proves he is following the daily affairs of a soap opera. I could claim that watching the show was strictly for research purposes, but in reading this article, it will become evident that I have become at least a little interested in watching, so there is no turning back now. It has been quite a spectacle. I have my reasons, first out of curiosity albeit, but to my surprise it has been somewhat entertaining. The participants have their reasons too, which aren't always, or maybe rarely are, about finding love. And of course, ABC has its reasons. The clear winner here has to be the latter-ABC.

Some background related to format that may help explain the resulting dating practices

Who wouldn't want to be part of a dating experience where ABC foots the bill and plans the best dates according to the personality of its lead role? But the whole stage set is for the cameras. To give love a chance, the fairy tale meetings must become real to individuals thrown in as actors. ABC is in charge. The dating game goes by their rules. And their practices are weird at best. Every show moves through phases that supposedly are part of a natural dating process. Forget the fact that one person is going on dates with many different people, sometimes all at once. ABC would like you to forget this momentarily, in fact-as the field narrows, they want you to believe that the main person is in sincere relationships with each intimate date, making him/her worthy of a proposal of marriage with anyone of the dwindling number that remains after each week. But that's preposterous, you think, and yet we watch. ABC loves it!

ABC interferes only when it profits itself

There's no way the ABC network could keep out of the dating scheme they are producing, but their relationship with the contestants is unique. As much as ABC is willing to put on elaborate displays and interrupt with appearances by its host Chris, when advice is needed only questions remain. Chris, as down to earth and humble as he very well may be, only poses questions of the "bachelor" or the so-called "bachelorette" that help said person sort through his/her confusion, more than actually help them resolve potential heartbreak. When was ABC going to step in this season? It was as self-serving for ABC to let Wes play with Jillian's heart, as it was for Wes. They both played it up for as far as it would go, at the expense of the girl the whole season is supposedly about and for. Is it any wonder that previous season's outcomes resulted in everything ABC could want in the way of money and that love was not ultimately bought for the finalists that I've witnessed? And for some reason, we watch.

Some trends I've seen

Okay, let me get down to the details. Jillian Harris started with a record 35 guys to choose from. That's five more guys dispatched of so quickly in the process that neither, you nor I, or even she were able to meet and get to know these guys. The most critical stage might be the engagement to come but without adequate time meeting and befriending someone, forget any possible future with those persons. Then with the remainder, the bachelor, or the "bachelorette," in this case, widdles the field down to a core. You've got your bad guy/girl-he/she takes center stage. You've got a guy/girl who doesn't seem interesting to anyone but the bachelor/bachelorette-that's called attraction. You've got a couple good guys/girls for all intensive purposes-tidbits about them will be shown, because they will be around for a while, but they are background music. One of them will need to materialize as America's favorite, who will get spurned and become the next Bachelor or "Bachelorette." (Why we deem too perfect as not good enough, I'll never know). You've got a couple eccentric guys/girls-their antics keep the main person being pursued a little off-guard, but intrigued for some reason. It's fun humor for us as an audience, too. It's all really so predictable, and yet-we watch.

Recap: The Bachelorette: DeAnna Pappas

DeAnna was burned by Brad, supposedly, but promptly turns around and disappoints Jason Mesnick in much the same way. I wouldn't say Jesse Csincsak was a bad guy, but if marriage is what you want, then you don't choose the joker who is just having fun with life. If DeAnna wanted another high school fling, that's exactly what she got. Even she admits she made the wrong choice. Good thing she at least got rid of Grant. It was completely attraction with him. ABC was more than pleased that she passed on Jason, however.

Recap: The Bachelor: Jason Mesnick

Enter Jason, the supposedly down-to-earth single father. But he must have taken lessons from DeAnna. He went ahead and made the wrong choice, Melissa Rycroft, a very attractive, fun girl who will probably make someone happy some day: but did anyone really think she was the picture of instant mom? Small wonder that Jason realized quickly that their dating would be nothing more than a fling. He changed his mind before the finale even aired. The way he went about it didn't help his cause with Molly Melaney. Their relationship started on shaky ground. She seems nice enough and patient. She'll need to be. Maybe with a lot of work they can salvage a flimsy beginning. I'm afraid Jason let his best family girl option go when he got rid of the most well adjusted girl who happens to have the most spunk, too-Jillian Harris.

A Rerun? The Bachelorette: Jillian Harris

We watch because we hope for the best. Yeah, the craziness along the way is entertaining, but ultimately people like happy endings. Love is exciting. It's fun to watch as it unfolds, and we rarely get an insider view (though maybe that's how it's supposed to be). And as much as it is against the odds that true love will emerge, we hold out hope. Will Jillian find a love of a lifetime? Maybe. So she got rid of one token consummate good guy, in Jake. Who knows if they could have been good for one another, anyway? But props to her for also getting rid of the bad guy, eventually. Bye Wes. Won't miss you! I for one, don't care for your music, either. You seem to be living one big lie! But keep telling yourself, you're all that. At least your mom believes you, and so will the next girl looking to find a bad catch like you. For those ladies who still want a bad boy, you make it so easy to win your affection that why should such a guy change his ways for you? It isn't hard for any guy to be a bad boy, nor is it hard to find girls who fall for the act; but while you think he can become Mr. Right, it just goes to show that a guy like Wes has nothing on the so-called perfect guys that girls are afraid to live up to. No guy (or girl) is perfect. And turning someone away for that reason, is a cop-out.

Jillian is down to one eccentric guy, Reed, who deems himself a little neurotic (you think!), but there's someone for everyone, and his eccentricities might prove harmless, if deep down he is as unpretentious (more childlike and less childish) as his outward character sometimes shows possible. She's got one all around good guy, Kipton, who might doom himself by wanting to fall in love the right way. He is polished and pragmatic, which kind of takes out all of the fun of unpredictable shows of affection, or else has the opposite effect of even drawing questions about whether he could fall in love at all. But he has lightheartedly handled his methodical approach to love, at least to this point. Timing is the trickiest thing with love. He will have to show enough love for her to give her the belief that a future of marriage together is possible for them-but in order for love of a deep nature to thrive, two individuals can't push for the last step in the process first, before happily enduring the building phases that would lead up to such a commitment. Frankly, I haven't personally seen the show where two people come together at their own pace, because of (or despite) the pressure of ABC's format that rushes steps-from being acquaintances right down to the biggest commitment society knows two people can make. The approach definitely diminishes the build up, as persons really only can begin normal dating after the show has aired. And finally, even with the twist, of Ed going away, his coming back is just proof that some interests are built solely on a strange attraction the rest of us just don't get. So far, the guy has shown next to nothing of personality and yet there he is. Maybe she accepted him back on the notion that he had become someone she couldn't have, before she had made enough information to make a decision on him. But how long can that last?

Summing up the review from a guy's standpoint

See how petty this show makes even a sensible guy like me. I just couldn't help myself, and here I am voicing my opinion and adding to the gossip. Guess I could really go for a guys' night out, right about now? Maybe I'll go shoot a basketball or something. And I promise: no more girl talk, for any basketball takers out there. I think I got it out of my system-that is unless you shoot a basketball like Juan, of this season's episode, when they played with the Globetrotters. Okay, I'm done, really!

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