What to Do with One's Own Life?

I went to a religious festival recently. Met a lot of really wonderful, beautiful people, and got to talk about a lot of interesting things.

A young man came up to me and we spoke for a while. At first we talked of polite things such as where we were from, and what kind of work we did. He was a student. I was a writer. While he made the kind gesture of acting in deference to me, I flat out told him that this kind of formality was not necessary. Thank goodness he relaxed.

A Great Question

After a few moments he asked me a question, "How was it that you got to know what you wanted from life?"

Wow! Great question, I thought. What a wonderful kid to be asking a question like that. I then answered him as honestly as I could.

"Actually, I never found out. This whole life thing is an ongoing process, and the jury is still out on their decision. Funny thing is... I don't think they'll ever come back! They're probably out partying somewhere. And the judge is right there with them!

"All jest aside, when I first started out on my soul searching, when I myself was a young man, it was really tough. With all my heart, all my being, I wanted to know the answer to: What was I supposed to do with my life? That question tortured me to no end. Luckily I got past the torture part, and got my act together enough to where I was able to start trying things. I worked different jobs, and when I was in school I changed majors a few times before I graduated."

Learning to Decide

"But how did you know what things to try?" my new friend asked.

"I didn't. But when I look back on that time, it didn't matter. That was the whole point. Things weren't supposed to make sense back then. All that mattered was that I developed the ability tomake a decision to do something, and I just went and did it. The whole exercise at that time was to learn how to decide. Afterwards, the most important thing was to simply do. Do what I had decided to do.

"On the one hand you think about doing something. And in the other hand you learn how to make it real. At least that was the general idea.

Just Try Something... Anything!

"Aside from that, it didn't matter at all what I did. I tried a lot of things. I bussed tables at restaurants. I mopped gigantic warehouse floors for just a few dollars. I took flying lessons and learned how to fly a glider, and later on learned how to fly larger-engined aircraft. I worked on a maintenance crew that restored ancient warplanes. I lived in a monastery for a year. I learned rock climbing. I stayed underground in caves for days on end. Later on I worked as an editor for a large prestigious law firm. Afterwards I lived in China for several years, a time I will treasure always.

"I did so many things. I had the honor of witnessing wonderful things that came to pass − things which will never be seen by any human ever again.

"So you see, maybe now you don't know what you want to do. That's okay. Don't feel bad about it. The only thing to do is just do! Try things. Go do things. Go do anything!

The word anything is just another fancy word for everything. So... go try everything!"

"By the way... Have fun while you're at it!"

Question Number Two

My friend asked yet another question, "But how do you know what you like to do?"

Another good question! Some kind of answer spilled from my mouth.

"There are some people who are lucky enough to know exactly what they like. There are even luckier people who know exactly what they should be doing. The luckiest people of all know what they need to do, and absolutely love doing it."

Life In One's Own Hands

"For the rest of us who are utterly clueless, we can start by bashing our head against a stone. After a while, we come to realize it's a good idea to stop with this bashing. It hurts.

"The challenge that comes after that is to realize that it's actually okay to live your own life without any further bashing. And then after that, you find that your life has been literally handed to you, to do with as you please.

Finding It

"And after you tried any number of things − a great number of things − you start to get an idea not of what you like, but of what you don't like. After a while, when you feel you have done many things, and tried many things − somewhere among those other things that you haven't tried most likely lies the thing you would like to do.

"At this point, don't give up. Just keep looking. Just keep trying. After a while, something will come as a surprise. You might find joy in just trying things. Or you might find joy in doing just one thing. Whatever it is, just give it some time and it will show up.

"This kind of thing takes years. But you have your whole life to discover it, or them, or... perhaps something inconceivable..."