What Parents Should Raise There Kids Up On: Values, Wisdom and the Future of Children

What should parents should raise there kids up on is important for there own child's future. There are five virtues that parents should raise there kids up on each virtue goes deeper than just a literal one word meaning. If there is difference in the household one must learn to tolerate that difference in order to show acceptance and to not create contradiction because, the minute you contradict yourself they begin to doubt or get confused. Also, while it is important to teach your children it's important to make sure they experience life's problems also.

I. 6 Virtues of:

The first value to be taught is the value of Truth. Truth taught to a child who is developing there perception of the world around them teaches them to always look for the truth not give into lie. One can teach this value of truth through being honest to their child and by looking into something more than what it appears. Truth is honesty and objective and you should show your children to see things as they are and not subjectively or as they "appear" to be.

It is important; to make sure that you rise up your kids in a manner that teaches the search for truth in a world that always seems to be covered in lies. The truth will set you free as the saying goes and would you not want to see your children knowing the truth and be free? If you do not know how something works it is important to be honest and say that you do not know "how it works" or "why it is that way" and encourage your child to find out how it works in a manner that is objective or "What it is worth" or "Seen as it is." It is also important to make sure you do not bring up naïve children for to long. As time goes by there naïve behavior should change into an understanding behavior and an objective knowledge. Being naïve for to long cause's ignorance and ignorance is bad road to go down to.

The next value to be taught is the value of Love. It's an extremely important value to be exposed to especially if you grew up in a family were love was absent or scarce. Teaching the value of love has many underlying aspects. The first aspect "understanding", by showing compassion and understanding for one's actions or one's life you are bringing up your child to learn to understand people and society. Once, they understand they are no longer ignorant or hating towards a particular subject.

The next aspect is Fun, to learn how to love what you do for the right reasons. By having fun it develops hobbies and things your child can be passionate about. Once they experience good or healthy fun as a source of love they can become aware of how much life has to offer. Love encompasses many things. Regardless of whether you are religious or not, here is a list of values within love itself that can be taught and experienced in the bible of (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). This is a sufficient list of things to teach and let your children experience.

Now the value of wisdom is a tricky one. Wisdom is only gained through experience however; you can talk about your own experience in order to give wisdom to your child. Whether or not they take it is up to the way you raised your child. Wisdom is important it is the knowledge obtained through experience and this is why it is important to expose your children to difficult or important events in their life. Let them decide the outcome of things. If they make a mistake they gained there own wisdom if they did not make a mistake they heard your wisdom and applied it.

Wisdom is a great teacher and therefore should be gathered in late childhood and onwards. Children who gain experience remember these events and than make there children (your grand-children) wiser also. Without wisdom they become ignorant and once they become ignorant they do things stupidly and become very inefficient at anything they do.

The value of self-control is an important thing to teach and experience. It is so important it is vital to deciding on a lot of things that may effect your child's lifetime. Without self-control to much of a good thing become a perversion of anything good. While it is important to learn to receive it also is important to give and how can you give if you cannot control yourself from wanting more. If you want more you become greedy with yourself and everything around you.

Self control teachings moderation in life and through that teaches you to become more organized with your life. So to teach self-control you need to place limits on things. A limit on how much of anything once you do that your child's mind will become configured in a way that experience them to boundaries. Setting boundaries is just about as easy as hitting a bull's-eye with your eyes covered when in comes to a child but over time as they grow up and mature these boundaries will be in a firm place that they will know to control themselves.

The value of self-worth is just as important as self-control. In fact it should be coupled with self-control. Self-worth or confidence allows your child to become resourceful, grounded and Confident in his ability to do anything your child puts their mind to. I say it's important to couple self-control with self-worth because; you do not want cockiness or pride to take over your child's mind. By setting boundaries you set a limit and with that limit your child knows how far to exert themselves. Through experience and patience however, there limits will be overcome and pushed out further and expanded. Thus, allowing them to exert themselves even more.

Self-worth teaches resourcefulness by allowing your child to become smarter and aware of themselves that they can do anything they can so as long as it is within the boundaries. Children with sense of self-worth become well grounded and know what they can and cannot do. They are not easily pressured into doing something they otherwise do not want to do and they become true individuals that way. There own thoughts and opinions and not what everyone else is saying or doing that will effect there decisions. Through this they will make true friends and not friends that run away or slowly disappear from them.

The most obvious characteristic to self-worth is confidence. Confidence leads to determination and the ability to succeed. With that ability they will find there own true happiness. However, it is important to teach self control with this characteristic because, one does not want to become stubborn but determined also one does not want to be boastful but humble.

The final part of these values is hard work. Hard work is the teacher of some many things it is also the most rewarding of them all. With hard work you create passion, wisdom, determination, and success. Again I stress the importance of teaching self-control with hard work. It is great to work hard and have some reward whether tangible or not. However, it is not great to exert your child beyond their ability to perform. If you exert your child far beyond what they can do they will grow disinterest and hatred for hard work. With hard work comes passion. When your passionate about something it tends to show up everywhere in your life. With passion comes determination to have true happiness.

Wisdom is practically created through the results of the actions you make. Train your child to not accept failure but only results and to perfect themselves until they are happy with the result they want. It is important to make sure your child experience hard work but to not hate it instead to learn from hard work. An important thing you can teach your child is how to take an advantage over a disadvantage out of any negative situation. For example, the death of a loved one; one should give a time to grieve however, instead of sulking over the loss you should do something new that you never did before maybe overcome a negative behavior or change one's have some new intangible thing to have and instead of losing you now have a gain. With all this Passion, Wisdom and Determination comes success. The successfulness we all dream of having. That is how you give your child the things you never had. By teaching all of the above your child will be grateful and happy to you by the time your child is an adult possibly even a teenager.

II. Differences and Toleration

One common issue most families face is a difference between the parents and there growing child. This issue causes much tension and stress within the family. Your child may dress differently than you or have different hobbies than you. It is important to tolerate the things your children do, by doing so they will tolerate the actions of others and you. This is why if you taught self-control they will know the boundaries and learn, to not over step those boundaries. If you child messes up on something important take a step back and take a deep breath. The more you tolerate the more they to will learn to tolerate.

Acceptance is key, I know I would not want to have my father or mother yelling at me for messing up and instead I would like them to stress how I messed up but that we will be cool calm and collected about the issue and through this I will not be so ready to defend the reason why I did it.

Let's say your child comes home stoned and drunk from a party. You know that your child probably will not remember anything you say while they are in there state of mind so they pass out and wake up the next morning, you and your spouse are going to confront your child What will you say? How will you act? I know for a fact if I was a child I would not want them to be yelling at me. You must keep that in mind. You talk to your child and tell him that although he messed up you still accept him/her but you need to discipline him/her for there actions so they learn never to do such a thing again. Instead of grounding him/her give the child hard work for a certain amount of time to stress the importance of what they did and how it was wrong.

III. Teaching and Experience

So which one is more important to a developing and maturing child, the power of personal experience that is wisdom and the true story-telling of teaching from your own experiences? Both are important however, each one has a different purpose and effects. When your young you want to experience life and do a lot you would not want to just sit down and take someone else's word even if it is your own parents sometimes. So it is important to stress your own experiences on to your children however, leaving the ultimate decision up to them, so as long as it does not threaten there life, of course. However, does teach them wisdom. There lies the truth on what you should do with children. The older they get the more power the should have however the more power the more responsibility and accountability she be entrusted to them.

The problem with a child experiencing too much is that it may lead to false perception of how things really work. Also the child may hurt themselves to a point where they cannot be enjoying life the way the might want to. The teacher can only teach what the teacher knows and if the teachers (parents) know a lot even if it is things they may not know 100% it is important to teach the student (child) that to while stressing the fact that you are not to sure. However, again the ultimate decision should be left up to the child so as long as they do not have life-threatening events. Teaching is indirect wisdom being given to your child. Some parents may be more liberal and want there child to experience life more on there own and thus allow there child to be wiser. Another group of parents may be more conservative and want there child to learn from there own experience. The one problem with teaching your child is that they may not learn from your experience without experiencing for themselves.

IV. Giving What You Never Had

Parents while that is a good intention you can do for your child, it may help to know that some of the best intention the worst things possible can occur. If you gave your child everything you ever wanted but could never have it could make your child ignorant and selfish. At the very least, they may love you for the wrong reasons.

Why would giving it all to your child make them ignorant and selfish? Simple... They perceive the world as something that they get what they want when they want. They think that money grows on trees and that you can buy them anything they desire. You know what they will get it because; you will feel bad that there not getting what you always wanted. They will becoming those spoiled kids wanting everything in the toy store and if you say "no" they'll scream, kick and cry until you feel pressured to give in to them.

Prevention is the best medicine and by giving them the gifts of wisdom and the six values mentioned in the start of this essay they will have want they truly and always wanted and they will be happy and truly love you for the right things. Than why would they love me for the wrong reasons? Why else, your child may see you simply as a means to an end. They use you for your money to get what material possessions they want. They will think of you as the "First National Bank of Mom and Dad." Now, I don't know about you but I want to be remembered by my children as the parent who gave them knowledge, values and wisdom to find true happiness. Since, I helped them they will remember me. Since, I gave life to them to allow them to experience there true happiness they will love me.

So in conclusion, if you want to give to your children give them the gifts of values, knowledge and wisdom. Through that they will have a life that is of true happiness and abundance. If they love you for the right reasons and they are successful and want to spend time with you than you know you did the right thing. The virtues of truth, love, wisdom, self control and worth and hard work will allow you child to go far and they will always remember you for that. If you tolerate the actions of others while there around during childhood and even the teenage years that will leave an impression on them.