What to Do When Your Partner Says I Love You But..

"I love you, but it's just complicated right now."

"I love you, but she won't let me go."

"I love you, but I'm just not ready to get serious."

And my personal favorite:

"I love you, but I'm just not good enough for you."

Ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you something. There are no "buts" in love. If he / she loves you-- truly, madly, deeply the way you deserve to be loved-- there are no buts. It's just "I love you."

Period.

The problem I believe is this whole "I love you but forces are working against us right now." appeals to our sense of drama. After all, what do we face in every movie about true love? Drama. It's as though love isn't worth having unless you need to fight for it, or prove to that other person that you are the answer to all their prayers. I say nay to that.

Of course love is something worth fighting for, but you have to learn to choose your battles carefully. If the "but" in the equation is another girlfriend / boyfriend - run for the hills and don't look back. We've all heard the old saying "If they did it to someone else, they'll do it to you." Well, that's true. However, I have another way of looking at things. It comes from a conversation I once overheard between my mother and a friend who had fallen for a married man:

What do you want with someone else's cheating husband?

Point blank the most logical question you need to ask yourself in this situation.

I remember not even a whole year ago I found out this guy I was seeing had a girlfriend. When I confronted him about this, he said "But, you know I'd never do anything like that to you." I just about laughed him right out of my house.

There are other buts to be considered as well. "I love you, but I'm not ready to get serious right now." is a doozie. It leads you to believe that if you hang on this person may someday commit to you. Hard truth time: No. It's not going to happen. Stop wasting your time.

See, "I'm not ready to get serious right now." when said on its own in an honest thing to say. It doesn't prompt you to get too emotionally involved, and if you do you're doing so despite a fair warning. It's the "I love you." part that turns this into a clear line of crapola. Now you're going to get emotionally involved and whatever use you have to this person can be prolonged.

Once he / she has sapped you of all your time and resources, they will move on leaving a broken husk of the person you used to be in their wake.

I'm sorry if that stings anyone reading this, but take it from someone who fell for the "But" enough times to know better.

Don't let their big "But" make an ass out of you.