What Pregnant Women Really Want

You may have heard the term "babies don't come with manuals," but as every husband, boyfriend, or partner of a pregnant woman knows, the pregnant mother doesn't come with a manual either! Stress, fluctuating hormones, physical strain, exhaustion, anxiety, and a whole slew of other changes can really take their toll on a pregnant woman, especially if she is also expected to be a full-time mother, keep the house in order, and even have a job on the side. Luckily, there is hope for fathers and partners out there. There are definitely ways that you can help your pregnant woman to feel better, less stressed, and less emotional.

The very first thing that you can do is just try to be understanding. To a man, a pregnant woman's crazy emotions and changing personality may make no sense at all, but consider the following: Pregnant women have a LOT more to deal with than other people. Imagine being sick all day long every single day for months. One or two days of nausea and vomiting from the flu are all that most men will ever have to deal with.

Pregnancy takes its toll on a mother's body in other ways. Pregnant women are often constantly exhausted. The strain of growing another human being is immense. It causes hunger, exhaustion, nausea, insomnia, and soreness. You may have had one of these problems at one time or another, but just imagine having them all together and constantly every single day for several months. Of course pregnant women are more emotional. It's not just to do with fluctuating hormones, they are literally pushed to the end of their limits! Even a man would break down crying in despair at some point.

Add to this a woman's psychological state. She may be getting larger and feel less sexy or pretty - a very big deal to most women, especially if they work hard to keep their appearance up. Pregnancy can cause horrible acne, bad hair, brittle nails, mottled skin, and permanent stretch marks. Our body odor gets worse, no matter how we wash, we sweat constantly, hair starts growing in unfeminine places, and men no longer look at us the way they used to.

There's also anxiety over the pregnancy and birth as well as impending parenthood to deal with. A woman who has never had a child may be terrified of giving birth or having to devote her entire being to another person for the rest of her life. If she already has children, her fear may stem from wondering how she will ever be able to cope with more than one child when she is pushed to the limits already.

A good partner will understand that the woman is dealing with more than she has probably ever had to deal with in her entire life. Pregnant women need special care and just a little bit of pampering. There are lots of things that you can do that will help her that will also be just as relaxing and rewarding for you.

Make Her Feel Beautiful

Near the top of the list for pregnant women is the need to feel beautiful. Women with caring partners who show them how beautiful they are will feel like an absolute goddess! Even if you don't feel that she is as sexy as she used to be (and most men DO actually find their wives more attractive when pregnant) lie! Let her catch you staring at her. Give her a good pinch when she walks by. Tell her how much you love how soft and round she is and that she's the hottest woman you've ever seen.

For goodness sake, don't ever use the words "large" or "big," even when talking about the baby. If you want to comment on how the baby is growing, comment on how strong it is or how much you love feeling the baby's kicks. Don't mention "waddling." Tell her you like the sexy new "sway" she's got in her hips when she walks.

Make Sure She Feels Loved

Pregnant women may feel alone or scared or even afraid that they will not get as much attention as they used to from men, so make sure that your partner feels loved and appreciated. Tell her how much you love her from time to time and be sure that you do it while looking into her eyes. Kiss her deeply and do those things that you know will make her giggle.

There are lots of other ways to make a pregnant woman feel loved and appreciated. Bring home flowers for her for no reason at all. Comment on how particularly delicious dinner is if she cooks. When you bring home something, always say it's for her, not the baby. If you buy a car seat, for example, don't say "look what I got for the baby," say "look what I picked up for you, sexy!"

A lot of women are particularly touched when you leave little love notes around the house. When you leave for work, tape a little note up on the fridge or the bathroom mirror with a heart that says how much you will miss her and how much you think about her. Kiss her before you leave as though you mean it and be sure to give her a big kiss as soon as you get home. You want her to think you've been missing her all day.

Showing her that you actually are thinking of her at work is a huge help. Send her little love-letter e-mails now and then or call her on your lunch break to see how she is doing. When you call, ask her if there is anything she would like for you to pick up on the way home. She might appreciate it if you bring home Chinese for dinner so she doesn't have to cook. Maybe she's got a craving and needs you to bring her pickles and ice cream. If she doesn't need anything, pick up something anyway. Pregnant ladies love chocolate.

Help Ease Aches and Pains

Pregnancy is not without its share of aches and pains. You can make a world of difference in her life by helping her out just a little. Give her a soft, soothing massage with the lights turned low. Draw a nice hot bath for her with candles and bath oils. Pregnant women especially appreciate a good foot rub with a soothing lotion. Carrying around a baby can make her feet very sore.

It's also in your best interest to make these soothing moments as sensual as possible. Drop little kisses on her neck while rubbing her back and kiss her toes as you massage her feet. Work your way up her legs with slow, sensual movements and be sure to kiss her all over. She'll feel loved and giggly and with enough sensual attention, even a pregnant woman with absolutely NO libido will magically turn into a sex kitten again.

Always be careful to be gentle with her. Certain positions can be painful when pregnant, especially the hips when lying on her back. Her breasts may be incredibly sore and only feather-soft caresses should be used. She may also be uncomfortable with her changing smells and may not want you going "down there" so respect her wishes if she wants to do something else. Your smell may also turn her off, or she may have a stronger gag reflex in pregnancy. You can suggest all types of ways to play that will be comfortable and rewarding for you both.

Show Interest in the Baby

Most pregnant women say that they wish that their partner was more interested in the pregnancy or in the baby and those whose partners do show a lot of interest always remark on how much they love and appreciate it. From time to time, ask how the baby is doing. Press your ear to her belly and take some time to feel your baby kicking. Talk to your baby and let him or her hear your voice. The time will go by quickly and you will never be able to spend this special time with your baby again. Not only that, but there's nothing sweeter to see than a man who already loves his unborn baby. Your pregnant partner will be overflowing with love for you.

Don't Play the Contest Game

My husband, like many people, loves to play the contest game. Every day when he comes home, he has to have had a worse day than me. It's okay, most people do it. You know, your partner says "I had to do the laundry and the dishes and my back is killing me," then you say "well, my boss yelled at me and made me do such and such," and then she counteracts with "I threw up three times and I can't eat anything," then you have to get the final word in with "oh yeah? Well, I didn't have any money in my wallet and had to go without lunch!"

The contest game isn't a good way to make your pregnant girl happy. She's obviously in misery and is trying to tell you that she needs some kind of attention and help, so don't play the contest game and try to make yourself feel like your day was worse than hers. If she had a bad day, just put your arms around her and let her cuddle with you for a moment. Keep your "bad day" stories to yourself, at least for now.

Don't Get Upset With Her

Most importantly, try not to get upset with your pregnant partner when she is not feeling well or when she gets angry with you. She honestly doesn't mean to be a fiery tempest from Hell. She's just going through a lot, is at the end of her rope, and has resorted to desperate action.

Avoid fights by saying that you are sorry, even if you are not, even if it isn't your fault. Look sincere and show her that you do feel bad for making her upset. A raging pregnant woman can be calmed right down with soft words, sad puppy eyes, and a pouty lower lip. At any other time, fighting is perfectly fine, but negative actions and feelings during pregnancy can actually affect and harm the baby, so it's in everyone's best interest to keep the mother as calm and as sane as possible during pregnancy.

Remember: make her feel like a goddess, be interested in her (pretend if you have to!), and try your best to make her feel wanted and appreciated. She will need extra attention during her pregnancy and because she admires you and your opinion more than anyone else's, it's important that you provide it for her. The better she feels, the less stressed and upset you will be and the less you will have to deal with. Pampering your pregnant sweetheart isn't all about her - it's about you, too!