What to Do When You're Frugal and Your Friends Aren't

There's a Tuesday night discipleship group at the church I go to for people in their twenties and thirties. For the last few weeks they've been talking about issues of stewardship and personal finance. There are always a couple of people in the conversation who are immensely interested and involved in the discussion, but everyone else seems to be disinterested. This is really how it is in life. You know you're in a slim minority if you get excited about personal finance and love taking your financial life head on.

There's a group of people that I know that like to look like they have a lot of money. They drive nice cars, have nice things, and wear nice clothes. They don't make much more than any of my other acquaintances, but they sure like to look like they do. It's usually these people that never want to talk about personal finance, probably because they're hiding under huge piles of debt, and don't want others to figure their real financial position. If you're in a social circle or have some friends who meet this bill, here are some tips to keep them as friends and hopefully influence them in a positive direction.

Going Out - Chances are these people have no quarrels about spending a significant amount of money when going out with friends, say to a bar on Friday night. It's probably a lot more than your comfortable spending in a given night, so consider various ways to move the entertainment in a more frugal direction. If you're at the bar, grab a tap-beer and nurse on it rather than drinking whatever like there's no tomorrow with the rest of your friends. If you're going out to eat, try to order less expensive meals, such as a buffet or maybe even a salad. You might also suggest more frugal activities, such as going out to the lake or going to the cheap theater instead of the multiplex.

Don't Force Talking About Money - Don't try to evangelize others into your line of thinking on money, it's just not going to work. Your friends will probably only get mad at you for trying to do so. Do the smart thing with money, and if they decide that they want to change, they'll come and ask for help. You really just can't change people, especially when it comes to their money.

Fitting In - Chances are your friends all have a lot nicer things than you because they finance everything up to their eyeballs. They probably have nicer clothes than you too, but that's fine. Get clothes that mix and match well so that you can have a variety of different outfits to wear. If someone makes fun of your car, you can simply quip, "Yeah, my car's not quite as nice as yours, but at least I own it free and clear!" This'll silence them quickly; it's amazing how well it works.

Make Up For It Elsewhere - Chances are you'll spend a bit more money when you're hanging around your non-frugal friends, so cut back in other areas to make up for the difference.

You don't need to give up on a group of friends just because they have champagne tastes and you're on a beer pocketbook. You can keep them as friends, still go out with them, and maintain your frugality.