What Secretaries Day Should Really Be About

April 27 is Administrative Professionals (or Secretaries) Day and as the person who really runs the office, you were probably wondering if it would push the boundaries too far if you were to wear pajamas to work (or at least the bottoms). Well, no such luck unless you already telecommute or look really good in a baby-doll nightie.

Speaking of figures, have you ever wondered why they call it "secretary spread"? Or why some women pay for it now, even though it just spreads vertically instead of horizontally?

Did you know that administrative professionals, or secretaries, used to have a whole week to celebrate? Back in the 1950s, when career opportunities were limited for women, this was an incentive (created by a New York publicist) to get more people to pursue administrative support careers. Not a bad thing but since office automation has greatly shaved off time and energy it takes to complete routine duties, one week has been cut down to a single day. Like fast food, this is very cheap.

Why? Today many administrative assistants, secretaries, office technicians, executive assistants, office workers or whatever you choose to call yourself is really your company's travel agent, accountant/bookkeeper, messenger service, website creator, event planner, copywriter, custodian or marketing assistant - and the list goes on. Not to mention, those of us who are on salary and continuously work more than 45 hours a week with not much of a break to balance work and life itself (yes, they are separate worlds). No, the two-hour lunch comprised of running company errands does not count, especially if one of trips was to the bank on a Monday or Friday.

Now, let's talk about tokens of appreciation. Flowers and sweet snacks are nice but what does it really mean if it came from someone who once implied that you need to lose weight? Or have the flowers wilted by lunchtime or was there a bug lying between the petals? Does it mean they only appreciate you within a certain budget or you are only worthy of receiving treats if you promise to eat only one?

So where is the real celebration? Personally, I would rather take a gift card to a retail establishment than sit through two hours with my boss at some sit-down place that serves drinks. Not that I mind a free lunch but I'd hate to chance whether the alcohol will eventually do the real talking, on my part or theirs.

A shopper card, a day off, even a party of one's choice (since you most likely balance the books, you have first-hand knowledge as to what's really in the budget), or any sincere gesture to that shows appreciation for my efforts and compromised beliefs such as coming in early and leaving late (without taking overtime pay), lying to your bosses' spouse and learning new software applications that seem to change at breakneck pace.

Did I mention that I pretty much run your office singlehandedly for salary only? Maybe we can negotiate a profit sharing option, with interest.